Any more funny guys out there?

Discussion in 'Trumpet Discussion' started by edfitzvb, Oct 14, 2010.

  1. Cornyandy

    Cornyandy Fortissimo User

    Jan 9, 2010
    East Yorkshire
    Ah bass stupidity
  2. entrancing1

    entrancing1 Mezzo Piano User

    Feb 16, 2010
    Buffalo, NY
    What's the difference between a trumpet player and a savings bond.

    The savings bond eventually matures.ROFL
  3. edfitzvb

    edfitzvb Forte User

    Jun 10, 2008
    Woodlawn, VA
    Does anyone know the difference between a Blues guitar player and a Jazz guitar player?

    The Blues player plays 4 chords for thousands of people.

    The Jazz player plays a thousand chords...

    What is the difference between a Jazz Guitar player and a large pizza?

    A large pizza can feed a family of four.


    What does a Grateful Dead fan say when they run out of pot?

    Wait for it.....

  4. tedh1951

    tedh1951 Utimate User

    Oct 18, 2007
    The Wide Brown Land

    .... and of course the Fish and Chip Shop in a Seminary would have a Fish Friar and a Chip Monk.
  5. A.N.A. Mendez

    A.N.A. Mendez Utimate User

    Oct 25, 2005
    Sunny Ca.
  6. gmonady

    gmonady Utimate User

    Jan 28, 2011
    Dayton, Ohio
    Thanks for resurrecting this thread as it started before I was a member and now that I am an Utimate user... well I felt I had to write an Utimate comment. By the way, any site that spells Ultimate as U-t-i-m-a-t-e is MY kind of site.

    I had a high school band director that said before medium tempo songs:

    We won't play this song slow... we won't play this song fast... we will play it half-fast
    [say the last word quickly as a run on and listen to how it resonates... wait... wait... OK then you will hear it and laugh]
  7. edfitzvb

    edfitzvb Forte User

    Jun 10, 2008
    Woodlawn, VA
    A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around,
    so he starts searching for the source.
    He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming
    from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-
    1827". Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward!
    Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.
    By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music
    has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward.
    Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar.
    When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward.
    The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.
    By the next day the word has spread and a crowd has gathered around the grave.
    They are all listening to the Second Symphony being
    played backward.

    Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the
    group. Someone in the group asks him if he has an explanation for the music.
    "I would have thought it was obvious" the caretaker says.
    "He's decomposing."
    tobylou8 likes this.
  8. edfitzvb

    edfitzvb Forte User

    Jun 10, 2008
    Woodlawn, VA
    While we're talking about composers....

    Most musical scholars know that J.S. Bach had several children, enough to distract him when he was trying to write. Therefore he did most of his work in a smaller structure in the rear of the property where there were few distractions, often working hours at a time without a break. His wife would often bring food and leave it at the door for those times when he would take a break. This practice is where the phrase "Bach's Lunch" came from.
  9. tobylou8

    tobylou8 Utimate User

    Dec 22, 2008
    You're on a roll ROFL!!!
  10. trumpetguy27

    trumpetguy27 Mezzo Piano User

    May 30, 2008

    Whattaya do when the drummer can't cut the parts?

    Take one stick away and put him in FRONT of the band!

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