ATM WITHDRAWALS

Discussion in 'TM Lounge' started by Solar Bell, Oct 6, 2005.

  1. Solar Bell

    Solar Bell Moderator Staff Member

    8,229
    2,004
    May 11, 2005
    Metro Detroit
    I think this is a follow up to the BlondeStar....


    ATM Withdrawals

    A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using his new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
    accessing their accounts".

    After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed.
    Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."







    MALE PROCEDURE:

    1. Drive up to the cash machine.

    2. Put down your car window.

    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

    6. Put window up.

    7. Drive off.

    ***********************************************************

    FEMALE PROCEDURE:

    1. Drive up to cash machine.

    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with
    the machine.

    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

    8. Insert card.

    9. Re-insert card the right way.

    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

    11. Enter PIN.

    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

    13. Enter amount of cash required.

    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

    17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

    18. Re-check makeup.

    19. Drive forward 2 feet.

    20. Reverse back to cash machine.

    21. Retrieve card.

    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

    25. Redial person on cell phone.

    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

    27. Release Parking Brake.



    I KNOW I've been behind these women!


    -cw-
     
  2. tpter1

    tpter1 Forte User

    Age:
    54
    2,259
    11
    Jan 12, 2005
    Northern New York
    ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
     
  3. trickg

    trickg Utimate User

    6,992
    3,883
    Oct 26, 2003
    Baltimore/DC
    Heck, I'm MARRIED to one of them! :lol:

    Did I mention that my wife is blonde?
     
  4. old geezer

    old geezer Pianissimo User

    172
    0
    Dec 26, 2004
    Indianapolis,In.
    my wife is a blonde also, she has two college degrees and is the smart one in the family but she really is a ditz at times - - - time to go back out to the garage. old geezer Dave
     
  5. tooslick

    tooslick New Friend

    23
    0
    May 22, 2004
    Now THAT'S funny! :lol:
     

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