Buford the Basset Hound

Discussion in 'TM Lounge' started by Still Trying, May 23, 2005.

  1. Still Trying

    Still Trying Pianissimo User

    159
    0
    Nov 23, 2003
    Lake Jackson, TX USA
    Buford, whose whole name is Buford T. Justice after the Jackie Gleason character in “Smoky and the Banditâ€, is my grand dog. He’s not quite a year old, but since my youngest son, his owner, took a job that keeps him on the road, Buford stays with his grandmother and me. We treat him just like one of our own.

    Actually, his grandmother is much too lenient with the pooch. Several times lately I have come home to find a whole roll of chewed-up toilet tissue scattered across the floor of one or more rooms. And Buford would be stretched out on the floor destroying what’s left on the little cardboard core.

    “Good Lord, Honey. Has Buford been busy? I didn’t know you could make that big a mess with just a single roll of toilet paper.â€

    “Let him play with it, Honey. I’ll clean up the mess, when he gets through. He got the brand new roll all by himself, and it took him all morning. I didn’t know he could stand up so straight on his hind legs. He got it off the shelf above the commode. You know we had to stop leaving toilet paper on the rollers weeks ago. That was no challenge at all. He just stood there flat footed and ate the whole roll. In the meantime, while he’s eating toilet paper, he’s not chewing on my shoes or the furniture.â€

    We learned to hide the toilet paper in a cabinet in the bathroom, and not bring it out until it was actually needed. A few days ago even this ploy proved to be inadequate. Buford follows me and his grandmother every where we go. He just hates it, when we’re not in the same room. But the other day he followed me into the bathroom, where I had serious business to conduct. At the conclusion thereof I secured a roll of tissue paper from its hiding place, and endeavored to conclude the affair. Buford would have none of it. His face lit up like a kid’s at Christmas, when he saw what I was holding in my hand. Without even blinking, he lunged for it open mouth first. Buford has a number of chew toys, which he eagerly brings to me every day for a period of tug-of-war and keep-away playing. His eyes had that same glint, and it was obvious he considered the toilet tissue in the same category as any of his other toys. So every time I tried to secure a small piece of the tissue for my own purposes, I had to avoid Buford’s rushes at the roll, or play tug-of-war with the paper in order to get it back. So there I was trying to finish my business, while at the same time fighting off a relentless attacker, who had mayhem in mind for the poor, defenseless roll of paper. I won, but just barely.

    But Buford had the last word. Saturday night I had been working at home all day on a training manual I have been trying to finish on a pretty strict deadline. My wife, Buford’s grandmother, was in the front part of our apartment watching TV or something. I got up from my desk and needed a bathroom break. As the Nigerians say, “I had to get comfortâ€. Lapsing into a brief state of laziness, I failed to shut the door to the bathroom, before I raised the lid and commenced securing some comfort. Buford came sauntering in. He paused at the commode, stuck his head over the edge of the toilet bowl, sniffed a couple of times and obviously identified the smell. Then in one continuous motion he hiked his leg, peed on my foot, turned, and sauntered back out the open door.
     
  2. jpkaminga

    jpkaminga Pianissimo User

    119
    0
    Jul 1, 2004
    Boston
    oh man, you gotta love dogs, especially when they're treated well and are able to develop amusing personality traits, that was a great little story, you never give any explicit physical description of the dog yet he comes to life in my head and distinct images appear, I can just picture that sweet hound face, even though it makes for more drool I really dig a dog with some jowls
     
  3. Still Trying

    Still Trying Pianissimo User

    159
    0
    Nov 23, 2003
    Lake Jackson, TX USA
    Buford is a tri-colored (black, brown, and white) Basset Hound. He has the typical long floppy ears, droopy looking blood shot eyes, and heavy jowls characteristic of hound dogs. He sounds like a hound when he barks. He's a runt for a Basset, but just about right for an apartment. His Dad is a 70 pound dog, but Buford is only supposed to make it to about 50. He's already made it to 40 pounds. He has a great, easy going personality, and thinks he's supposed to be a 50 pound lap dog.

    He never complains about my trumpet playing or howls, when I practice. And that's something I can't say about our other grand dog, the miniature Dachshund.

    In case you can't tell, his grandmother (my wife) and I love Buford to death.
     
  4. tpter1

    tpter1 Forte User

    Age:
    54
    2,259
    11
    Jan 12, 2005
    Northern New York
    ST-That is the funniest thing I've read in a few days. Thanks...I needed a good laugh!
     
  5. Still Trying

    Still Trying Pianissimo User

    159
    0
    Nov 23, 2003
    Lake Jackson, TX USA
    Thanks, Glenn.

    I hope everybody gets a good laugh out of it. When I told my wife what Buford had done, she laughed so hard I thought she had stopped breathing.
     

Share This Page