Capitalism

Discussion in 'TM Lounge' started by Tootsall, Mar 30, 2004.

  1. Tootsall

    Tootsall Fortissimo User

    4,529
    8
    Oct 25, 2003
    Yee HAW!
    You have two cows.

    You sell one and buy a bull.

    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

    You sell them and retire on the income.

    ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:

    You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION

    You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION

    You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION

    You have two cows. Both are mad.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again
    and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION

    You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
    storing them.

    A HINDU CORPORATION

    You have two cows. You worship them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION

    You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
    employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

    AN ISRAELI CORPORATION

    So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk
    factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

    CZECH CORPORATION

    Although you never heard anything about cows and know them only from Brehm's pictures, you are either the best expert in national bovine industry or the director of bovine manufacturing company.
     
  2. FlugelFlyer

    FlugelFlyer Piano User

    311
    1
    Dec 15, 2003
    Palos Park, IL
    CANADIAN CORPORATION

    You have two maple trees. You try "milking" them, but you only get syrup. After this, you try to convince the press that it's all an American conspiracy.




    [ heehee :wink: ]
     
  3. Tootsall

    Tootsall Fortissimo User

    4,529
    8
    Oct 25, 2003
    Yee HAW!
    I believe it was noted economist John Kenneth Galbraith (or Maynard Keynes?) who said...

    "America doesn't have friends.... it has economic opportunities". :)

    Bumper sticker seen on a car during the 20% interest rate period of the early '80s, "Keep your bank manager happy... buy an airplane".
     

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