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Discussion in 'Trumpet Discussion' started by frankmike, Oct 23, 2009.
Could you specify what you mean by 'chops gone'?
Whoa!!!! What happened to this guy? (The above was posted barely a week ago)
It sure sounds like something is going on unrelated to the trumpet. So, Frankmike, spill the beans. We're friends here. Let us know what's reaally going on...
Get a mentor, guru. During bad times it is helpful to get guidance (actually, that is good advice for the good times too.........).
I do not understand how everything can "fall apart". If we have a decent daily routine, we always have a point of reference. If we don't, then we have not been paying attention as thousands of posts are dedicated to that very subject.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.
If your frustration is DIY, then I guess you have proof that you are not the best solution for you.
GET EXTERNAL HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Buy Carly Simons tune "You've got a friend". Years ago, she made the situation very transparent.
hi all thank you all very much
its hard to explain what is going on. For the last week or so I have had this nervous that reflected itself on everything. I killed my chops. I have a stressfull job, a lot of commitments and I can manage to find an hour and a half during the weekday for trumpet.
What I did is I want to do everything. I spend 9 on work, I spend hour and a half in the car (transporting myself to the work and back and taking the kid to kindergarten -wife picks up on the afternnon him though), my day is like this
7:00AM wake up
7:30 wake the kid up
8:00 take the kid to the kindergarten
8:30 go to work
7:00 back at home
7:00-9:00 spending time with wife and kid including dinner
9:30 putting kid to sleep
10:00 spending time with wife (watching seinfeld etc)
10:30 my time for trumpet and piano
as you can see my schedule is full. I practice at the end of the day when I am practically burned from the tay that passed by.
I am family man, I want to spend time with them. Than my job is extremly stressfull. I am working in the finance dept. and I have 4 employees under me.
Every 5 minutes someone just drops into my office. My nerves are wearing thin. Than when I finally start to practice I am mentally gone. I play at the end of the day It is driving me crazy. The best part of my day is spent on that damn job that I hate so much, but it provides bread and butter.
At the end of the day I am just exhausted, I am gone, mentally I am gone. I forget things.
What happened to me is that I just skipped warm up, although I know how important that is. But I just skipped it to save time -what an idiocy!?!?
Can you imagine, I had a great momentum going on to lets say 10 days ago. Than the nervouse kicked in.
The nervouse started when I played piano I was starting to feel nervouse in my stomach, I just couldnt play I wanted to crush the damn thing.
Simply I lost it, I lost it completely. I cannot do this anymore. This weekend I went away from the music and playing completely, but I was so nervous, I am so unsatisfied, I hate myself, I went into fierce arguments with people around me. I am troubled. I have a problem.
I will enroll some Joga classes and maybe I will see psychologist.
The best advice I (and may be all of us) can give you at this
point is to contact your doctor and talk to him about your situation
of which you have written to us (your friends) here.
You will get much better advice from him/her face to face
than screen to screen here at TM.
Agreed. Go see a professional. A 'blog' music site is no place to solve or salve your issues which seem to run long and deep. If playing is the core of your problem, late nights only is just about the worst way to go about music. I too have a full day with two kids, a wife and a house with a mortgage, but fortunately I have a forgiving family who allow me 20 min segments to practice, and I cook the dinners and put the kids down. That time between 7 and 9:30 seems ideal. I find a couple of nights a week to play out with groups and believe me, even with that I level off and progress too slowly. The pros I play with are pros because they can play all day if they like, so, as Clint said, a man's got to know his limitations.
Take it easy, you'll find a way,
Hello! Damn, that´s a hard situation for you right now! I am not a psychiatrist in any way but I would suggest the following thoughts:
Find a moment during the day when you can be alone. Take some deep breaths and try to shut out all negative thoughts from your brain.
Ask yourself WHY you love the trumpet so much!?
What was the reason you started playing in the first place?
If playing music makes you feel good, in any way there is NO reason for you to stop. That is something you NEED in life, something that show other people WHO YOU ARE. It doesn´t matter if you play concerts, the playing is for YOU and YOU ALONE. It can be something for you to stress of with if! You just have to take away the pressure from thinking that you HAVE TO PRACTICE. Because at this point you don´t! You need to find the joy of playing MUSIC again. The same joy that you felt and had when you first started out. It doesn´t matter if it´s trumpet or piano, it´s all music.
Whenever I get sick of the trumpet or music, I put on the first jazz song I ever heard. That gets me back right away cause I know that is the song that made me wanna play music. If you have a song or some music that makes you get goose bumps, listen to that and make sure you´re relaxed and just enjoy that!!
Trying to heal yourself can be hard, maybe you need help like the others recommend but most of the bad thinking can be healed without it.
I hope this helps, if not, I´m sorry. Take care!
I'm not doctor, but looking at your time table, you don't sleep enough. People need around 8 hours of sleep to stay healthy, you get 5. Have you considered going to bed at 11, and getting up at 6, and playing the trumpet then, it's an extra 2 hours of sleep, which looking at what you do in the day is normally taken up by nothing.
Do you feel tired in the day? If you do, you should definitely sleep more, as tiredness leads to inability to preform to your normal standards, which gets you frustrated and stressed.
If you don't feel tired you should maybe you should take more breaks at work if you can, you say you're in charge of a few people, maybe delegate some work to them, and take it a bit slower?
But as I say, I'm not a doctor, so you should probably see one if you can.
(edited - see my next post instead)