EVERYTHING HAS A GENDER You may not know this, but many nonliving things have a gender. 1) Ziploc bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. 2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. 3) A tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated. 4) A hot air balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part. 5) Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable, and they retain water. 6) A web page is Female, because it's always hit on. 7) A subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. 8) An hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom. 9) A hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. 10) A remote control is Female. HA! You thought it would be male, didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.