So I've been in the brass world for about 3 years now. I haven't been faithful to one horn, switch from tuba to mello to trumpet. Well I do admit I don't practice as often as a should, but when I do I practice hard. I probably practice about 5 days a week for about 4 hours. And keep in mind that I'm in high school so I play everyday at school. The thing is when I play at home I generally do better than at comps, and auditions. I know it has to do with nerves but hear this. At home everything is clean and good (but could get better). But the moment someone is around me I play differently. And it's the same everytime without a falter. I never have bad or good days I always play the same and it sucks compared to my at home playing. I really want to make the Cavaliers hornline. But I don't feel like that's possible with my current situation. I can't afford fancy equipment, tutors, lessons, books, and others. And I try hard, but it seems to never work. I think the only reason I'm in spirit is because I know the director. I just don't know. I think I inherited my mothers Bi Polar disorder. Advice? Help?