Hilarious...

Discussion in 'TM Lounge' started by Manny Laureano, Jan 13, 2006.

  1. Manny Laureano

    Manny Laureano Utimate User

    5,915
    10
    Sep 29, 2004
    USA
    As you may be able to tell by my posts today, it's a day to laugh at ourselves...


    WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT
    THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
    REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, Dec. 19, 2005

    NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
    OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS
    MAXIMUM.


    Class 1
    How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide
    Presentation.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 2
    The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
    Round Table Discussion.
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3
    Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
    Avoid ing The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


    Class 4
    Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
    Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    Class 5
    After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen
    Sink?
    Examples on Video.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
    at 7:00 PM

    Class 6
    Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.
    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

    Class 7
    Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right
    Places
    And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
    Open Forum .
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    Class 8
    Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
    Graphics and Audio Tapes.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 9
    Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    Class 10
    Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
    Driving Simulations.
    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

    Class 11
    Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing .
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

    Class 12
    How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
    Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 13
    How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries
    and
    Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
    Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


    Class 14
    The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
    Live Demonstration.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

    Upon completion of any of the above courses,
    diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
     
  2. Mikey

    Mikey Forte User

    1,840
    2
    Oct 24, 2003
    My wife will love this..........

    But do I dare show her?

    :dontknow:
     
  3. Tootsall

    Tootsall Fortissimo User

    4,529
    8
    Oct 25, 2003
    Yee HAW!
    Man's Prayer

    "I am a man; but I can change; if I have to...........I guess."


    Red Green
     
  4. Alex Yates

    Alex Yates Forte User

    2,342
    6
    Aug 11, 2005
    Atlanta, GA
    ROFL
     
  5. Manny Laureano

    Manny Laureano Utimate User

    5,915
    10
    Sep 29, 2004
    USA
    yeah... I had a feeling our Georgia Peach would like that... :-)

    ML
     
  6. ROGERIO

    ROGERIO Mezzo Forte User

    908
    3
    Sep 30, 2004
    PHOENIX, AZ
    Very funny Manny... and NO, I will not show my wife that one... no need reminding her....

    My theory...

    GOD made man.... (yeah that Adam dude)

    After a while... he watched, listened and said to himself,

    "I think I can do better..." ... had nothing to do with Adam being lonely... more to do with making sure Adam didn't kill himself doing something stupid after going to Heaven Depot on Saturday morning...

    Manny's post explains the end result of the meeting between those two creations....

    I personally believe he stopped short of explaining it to them so he would have something to laugh about....
     
  7. tpter1

    tpter1 Forte User

    Age:
    54
    2,259
    11
    Jan 12, 2005
    Northern New York
    Where's the class on duct tape dependancy?
     
  8. busnutmedic

    busnutmedic New Friend

    24
    0
    Jan 1, 2004
    massachusetts
    LOL!

    Bonnie
     
  9. Tootsall

    Tootsall Fortissimo User

    4,529
    8
    Oct 25, 2003
    Yee HAW!
    Duct tape.... the handyman's secret weapon.



    Just remember... if the women don't find ya handsome, at least let them find ya handy.




    another Red Greenism



    Reminds me... I sent Leigh a T-shirt one time that had printed on it "I can fix anything....where's the duct tape?" Gotta find out if he ever wore it.
     
  10. rbtrumpet08

    rbtrumpet08 Pianissimo User

    95
    0
    Dec 28, 2004
    haha i havent watched those canadians in quite a while!

    as he said before

    Im a man, but i can change, if i have to..... i guess.

    then theres that one latin thing they always say like "cuando omni flunkus mortati" lol.
     

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