How badly can you mangle a language?

Discussion in 'TM Lounge' started by Tootsall, Jul 28, 2005.

  1. Tootsall

    Tootsall Fortissimo User

    Oct 25, 2003
    Yee HAW!
    I just noticed this on the CBC website ( It's hilarious.

    *Warning* NOT for the squeemish or faint-of-heart.

    " A man who compared a woman's chest to a carburetor has won an annual contest celebrating the worst writing in the English language.

    Dan McKay, a computer analyst from North Dakota, beat thousands of entrants to the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest run by San Jose University with this bit of prose:

    "As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual."

    The 43-year-old writer said he was inspired by a line from the musical Chicago when character Roxie Hart complains of her husband's incompetence in the bedroom: "He made love to me like he was fixing a carburetor or something."

    There is more... you can read it at :

    ROGERIO Mezzo Forte User

    Sep 30, 2004

    Shame to think that we only have fuel INJECTION nowadays. I miss the look of those throttle bodies too.

    My first car had those carbs he wrote about... SU carbs. Nice little jugs they were. A pain to keep calibrated.. left one always seemed a little off. ;-)
  3. old geezer

    old geezer Pianissimo User

    Dec 26, 2004
    my old Triumph motorcycle had those wonderful carbs that you had to
    "tickle" before it would start. those were the days. old geezer Dave

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