How do you tell the difference between democrats, republicans and Southerners? Pose the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? Democrats Answer: * Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! * Does the man look poor or oppressed? * Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? * Could we run away? * What does my wife think? What about the kids? * Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? * What does the law say about this situation? * Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? * Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? * Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? * Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? *If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? * Should I call 9-1-1? * Why is this street so deserted? * We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. * This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus. Republicans Answer: BANG! Southerner's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (Sounds of reloading.) Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do You kids think?" Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too." BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"