I know how you feel. I have been playing for 26 years and still sound like a beginner. I am tired of putting hard work and my life breath into something that isn't working for me and it is heartbreaking because I love the trumpet and jazz music but it doesn't love me back. Hours, Days, and Years wasted on playing and hoping I get better. My friends say I have talent but I don't. I have a real hard time reading and understanding some sheet music. I wanna write my own jazz song and was only successful at one recently but there's so much in music and trumpet I just cannot understand. I might just quit too. I'm not really good at anything else to be honest.