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Discussion in 'Trumpet Discussion' started by anthony, Jan 15, 2016.
I think you have identified the problem.
If all else fails buy a beat up Ambassador and let him have again and again and again until you feel better the Olds will probably hold up so you'll have a nice beater horn to keep around
Anthony have you considered talking directly your B in law yourself? Ask him why are you being insulting and tell him what you have told us. Then lets see whats he up to...
Yes I asked him why does he have to be so mean, cause yesterday a friend of ours was showing us pictures if his family, in the pictures on the computer of course was a video of the mans son playing Sax. The boy is about 12 yrs. My brother in law says out loud hey the kid plays better than you. I responded why are you so nasty. Anthony
it isn't crazy, it is crippling. You need to get this idiot out of your life. That is not always easy but be assured, it will be one of the most rewarding things that you do for yourself - not just for trumpet playing. I have had students with this problem and had them invite me when the problem person is around. Often, I could solve the problem without force or ridicule. Many times there is something much bigger behind the stupid comments. We always have to deal with the root problem, putting a band aid on a symptom seldom keeps the infection from spreading.
I think he is underestimating you Anthony. Get kick his @$$ by saying Hey I will be fine if you can play me the Reiche Abblasen on the trumpet then you can say anything. Or if it turns out wrong the only solution is to get this @$$ole put of ur life. Gee this guys got mental problems
Thank you guys actually fellow trumpet players sometimes we have to put up with a lot of crap to get respect or recognition
I makes me sad cause he has done a lot of wrong things and I don't point them out or say anything.
Putting up with a bully's abuse will not earn you respect. It will earn you recognition as an easy punching bag.
Having limits around what situations you will tolerate will earn you respect.
If you are living with him, then get your life together and get out. If he is living with you, respect and dignity is bare minimum, non-negotiable, table stakes stuff.
If he's your wife's brother, she needs to support you in this, or you married the wrong girl, in which case the sooner you get out of that, the better.
Remember, it isn't about controlling other people, it's about controlling what you will allow from yourself.
IMO, having had 2 older brothers, that in some ways there is the development of jealousy whereas you are now doing something your brother doesn't want to do himself and you're not interactive with him and doing what he wants to do. For me it came down to physical fights until I had learned how to be the winner by giving him a black eye for which I got a scolding from my parents despite his having instigated the fight. Relevant to our ages, all of us learned to play brass instruments, but they played school instruments and I was able to get my own. Matters got worse when I learned to play theirs, but they wouldn't learn to play mine but it never came to violence between us again. Too, I am the only one of us that continued to play a musical instrument beyond high school. Still, it saddens me that one of my brothers is now dead and the other who is 8 years older than I am is now losing his facilities of life vitality.
Not as many male viola players out there are there now? Welcome to TM where if we insult you, at least it will be fun!