Insulting brother- in - law

Discussion in 'Trumpet Discussion' started by anthony, Jan 15, 2016.

  1. Dennis78

    Dennis78 Fortissimo User

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    Sounds like your going to have to punch him in the neck!
     
  2. redintheface

    redintheface Pianissimo User

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    I think you just identified another part of the puzzle. If he isn't really good at anything specific yet, he may feel that he has to take you down, in order to protect his own self image. He can't let you get good at something, because that will show up his own failings to himself.

    Plus, it's a brother's job to make his brother as mad as possible, that's just the rules.

    I had my neighbour scream blue murder in her house, and then I heard a knock on the door and she asked if I could play at another time during the day (I was doing shift work, so it varied). She also commented - "You're a beginner, aren't you?" - I'd been playing.....20? years by then, so I just replied, "Yeah", and she continued "Yes, it doesn't sound very good"

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    You can lead a horse to water, but you can't teach it to appreciate the finer points of Clarke's Technical Studies.
     
    Peter McNeill likes this.
  3. J. Jericho

    J. Jericho Fortissimo User

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    I have been informed that both Markie and turtlejimmy have posted this before. Thank you, bumblebee!
     
  4. anthony

    anthony Mezzo Piano User

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    "Your a beginner aren't you? " Wow that's nasty that must have hurt after playing 20 years
    You were very cool in your answer , I don't know what I would have said .Thank you
     
  5. redintheface

    redintheface Pianissimo User

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    I have a pretty thick skin. I know my level of playing, it's definitely not professional, but it most certainly is not beginner, and I'm fine where I am. I figured something must have been up for her to knock on the door, so I reckoned that agreeing with her was the easiest way to close the door and continue Clarke's Studies. As a complete aside from this thread, it's sometimes surprising what effect agreeing with someone has. I agreed with her, despite knowing different, and she nodded, smiled and went on her way. Easy close. I sometimes imagine what would have happened if I had rebutted her.... and point in case, I much more recently met a man desperate to have a fight (though I didn't figure at the time), who called me an a-hole. I agreed with him! "Yes, I'm an a-hole, sorry." He absolutely went off at me for stealing his thunder, pulling the wind right out of this sails. He started kicking my car, and then trying to smash the window. He stopped when I calmly explained that he was on camera and the evidence would be at the Police station by the morning.

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    You can lead an idiot to reason, but you can't make him think.
     
  6. audwey11

    audwey11 Pianissimo User

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    I am no expert on this kind of matter, but I would ask the rest of the family if your brother-in-law has a reputation for being particularly nasty and ask if they know any methods for combating this. Or just go kindergarten style and give an i-message ("I don't like it when you...") just kidding, I wouldn't do that, that is probably the wimpiest thing to do... Regardless, I would try to stay civil and not be snide and sarcastic, try to prevent your ego from being bruised!!

    This kind of advice is not my forte, (hehehe) but I hope this is somewhat helpful (even if it is very obvious.)
     
  7. anthony

    anthony Mezzo Piano User

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    Yes thank you for your comment , maybe like Redintheface I should try to develop a thicker skin about my playing, we all a one tine or another get criticism. Thank you Anthony
     
  8. audwey11

    audwey11 Pianissimo User

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    If my views are flawed and idiotic, don't be afraid to inform me!
     
  9. J. Jericho

    J. Jericho Fortissimo User

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    Thick skin is seriously undervalued. If you have it, you can learn so much more about life and approach it with a truly positive, confident, calm attitude.
     
  10. gunshowtickets

    gunshowtickets Forte User

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    I like the cut of your jib.
     

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