Internet Cleaning

Discussion in 'TM Lounge' started by Tootsall, Mar 7, 2004.

  1. Tootsall

    Tootsall Fortissimo User

    4,529
    8
    Oct 25, 2003
    Yee HAW!
    Subject: Internet Cleaning



    PLEASE PASS THIS NOTICE TO OTHER USERS WHO MAY NOT SEE IT!



    As many of you know, each year the Internet must be shut down for 24 hours in order to allow us to clean it. The cleaning process, which eliminates dead email and inactive ftp, www and gopher sites, allows for a better working and faster Internet.



    This year, the cleaning process will take place from 12:01 A.M. GMT on April 1 until 12:01 A.M. GMT on April 2. During that 24-hour period, five very powerful Japanese built multilingual Internet-crawling robots (Toshiba ML-2274) situated around the world will search the Internet and delete any data that they find.



    In order to protect your valuable data from deletion we ask that you do the following:



    1. Disconnect all terminals and local area networks from their Internet connections.

    2. Shut down all Internet servers, or disconnect them from the Internet.

    3. Disconnect all disks and hard drives from any connections to the Internet.

    4. Refrain from connecting any computer to the in Internet in any way.

    5. Avoid placing operating microwave ovens or toaster/toaster ovens near your computer modem.

    6. Avoid wearing nylon (or other dielectric fiber) undergarments because of the possibility of electrical discharge.



    We understand the inconvenience that this may cause some Internet users, and we apologize. However, we are certain that any inconvenience will be more than made up for by the increased speed and efficiency of the Internet, once it has been cleared of electronic flotsam and jetsam.



    We thank you for your cooperation.

    Kim Dereksen

    Interconnected Network Maintenance Staff

    Main branch, Massachusetts Institute of Technology



    Sysops and others: Since the last Internet cleaning, the number of Internet users has grown dramatically. Please assist us in alerting the public of the upcoming Internet cleaning by posting this message where your users will be able to read it. Please pass this message on to other sysops and Internet users as well.

    Thank you.
     
  2. W Scott

    W Scott Piano User

    488
    4
    Dec 8, 2003
    Carson City, NV.
    Yeaaah, right! April Fools is coming early this year! :lol:

    Thanks for the morning comedy, Ed. Keep 'em coming................


    Bill
     
  3. fatpauly

    fatpauly Pianissimo User

    90
    0
    Nov 11, 2003
    Ellicott City, Maryland
    Ed -

    Thanks for the timely reminder. ICD is just around the corner.

    On a related note, internet users who are curious if there is anything they can do to help keep the internet clean all year round can do the following simple task. Just disconnect your network cable (the one that looks like a telephone cord), give the end a few quick shakes, and reconnect it.

    If people just did this simple household task once a week, the internet would be a lot less clogged with dirty bits. And if they left if disconnected for longer periods, things would improve even more!

    And don't worry, folks. Internet bits that get tossed just go up into the atmosphere and are evaporated. They are completely ozone friendly and help keep our little globe in space green.

    So remember folks, shake your cable once a month!

    - Paul Artola
    Ellicott City, Maryland
     
  4. Mikey

    Mikey Forte User

    1,840
    2
    Oct 24, 2003
    Shake it only once a month?

    How bout once or twice a week!

    ;-)


    M.
     
  5. Tootsall

    Tootsall Fortissimo User

    4,529
    8
    Oct 25, 2003
    Yee HAW!
    Mikey, if you shake it more than once a month "for maintenance purposes", you're playing with it.
     
  6. Lazorphaze

    Lazorphaze Piano User

    375
    0
    Feb 3, 2004
    is this some sort of joke?
     
  7. W Scott

    W Scott Piano User

    488
    4
    Dec 8, 2003
    Carson City, NV.
    No, it's not a joke! If you shake your cable more than once a week, your computer will go blind and the end of the cable grows an awful looking, hairy fungus. So please, spare yourselrf the agony and humiliation and don't shake it too often!

    Bill
     
  8. Thevor

    Thevor Pianissimo User

    202
    0
    Oct 24, 2003
    Next to the Volcano
    Obviously, its not a joke since I just got a call from the Washington State agency, QUality Assurance Cleaning Educational Dept. (QUACED for short) reminding me to thoroughly clean the internet on my computer.

    Thanks for the reminder Ed, I really look forward to April 1 every year.

    Geo
     
  9. ThePlanets9

    ThePlanets9 New Friend

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    Jan 14, 2004
    KY
  10. ThePlanets9

    ThePlanets9 New Friend

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    Jan 14, 2004
    KY

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