It never fails......

Discussion in 'Trumpet Discussion' started by flugelgirl, Mar 3, 2016.

  1. Sethoflagos

    Sethoflagos Utimate User

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    It's a form of bullying. Some useless people just get a kick out of exploiting another's good nature, which they see as a weakness. It puts you in a no win situation.

    I'm afraid I'm not at all diplomatic on the few occasions it happens. The last time, it was someone I scarcely knew looking to borrow my fishing gear. My response kicked off something along the lines of "So your wife's free this weekend.......?"
     
  2. flugelgirl

    flugelgirl Forte User

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    The biggest reason I'm so angry about this is that so many of these people seem to forget that I have gigs - that's why I own these horns. Even if I only played picc occasionally, pretty much anyone that has one will be using it on Easter. My response to this particular person was that if their friend needs a horn, they can buy my extra Eb/D. Now said friend who asked gets no more gig referrals from me. :x
     
  3. trickg

    trickg Utimate User

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    Just tell them no - adopt a policy that you don't loan out horns, and let them know straight up. Make up a story about getting burned by a bad experience or something, but I see horns as investments, and if you plan to take gigs where smaller horns are required, then invest in the smaller horns. That's what you did, so why shouldn't they? I'm actually in the market for a Eb/D for the simple reason that I've been getting jobs in the last year where I could use one. (I had parts for Bb, but they would sounded better on a D.)

    I did borrow a friend's C trumpet for a one-off thing a year or so ago, but that was kind of an exception because at the time, I hadn't done church work in ages, and a situation came up where I kind of needed the C trumpet. I also asked him because I knew he had 2 - his main C that he used all the time, and a Callet C that he rarely used. That said, it's getting about time for me to take that plunge again too, and for the same reason I want the Eb/D - I'm getting work where it would be beneficial to have the option.
     
  4. BigDub

    BigDub Fortissimo User

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    Somehow, that adds insult to injury. I have had people do that to me, but with non Trumpet stuff. You loan it to someone you have confidence will take good care of it, and then they go and loan it to a bad risk, and I mean bad....what a disrespectful thing to do, right?
    I don't know who said it first, but someone said, "Never loan anything to anyone that you can't afford to lose" that was more for money, but it applies to valuable stuff as well.
     
  5. trickg

    trickg Utimate User

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    This is semi-related, and it's a story worth telling.

    One Sunday night at about 9:45 pm, a guy I know PMed me on Facebook and wanted to know if I had a set of drums he could borrow - his living situation was such that he couldn't play real drums, so he'd sold off his kit, but he was supposed to play a session the next day and the guy whose kit he was going to borrow bailed on him.

    I've always kind of liked this guy and I got to know him because he was working in the drums department of Guitar center when I bought my first kit in 2003, and he sold me my first set of drums - the guy was only about 18 or 19 at the time, but we got along really well and we maintained contact over the years. Anyway, because he'd hooked me up with a good deal, I figured I'd do the guy a solid and return the favor. Now things get interesting.

    The guy has a suspended drivers license due to a DUI (red flags, anyone?) and asked if could possibly find a way to get the drums to him. Ok - it was 10:00 on a Sunday night, but sure - I'd go out of my way a bit, so I took the drums to him in a suburb on the north side of Baltimore - I live in Glen Burnie, on the south side, to give you an idea - it was a 40 minute drive getting up there after my son and I loaded everything up. He was super thankful when I got there, and told me that the session is in Waldorf, which is actually an hour to the south of me, and that he'd drop the drums off on his way home from the session. Awesome - I was copacetic with that plan, only it didn't work out that way.

    For some reason it didn't work out to bring the drums back the day of the session, but he said he'd get them back to me soon. Then I didn't hear from him for a couple of weeks. The next communication I got from him was a message telling me how great it was to have my drums, he'd gone out on played a show on them the previous night, and it was awesome!

    WHAAAAAAT!?!? :-o :shock:

    Now I'm more than a bit concerned. It's one thing for him to still have my drums after me loaning them to him for a session, but it's a whole other ballgame that he thought it was ok to take them out and gig them without asking me first. I even let that one slide, but after another week or so, I just wasn't getting a warm and fuzzy about the fact that $5000+ worth of my drum gear still was out there, so I took steps to get it back - with drums being a component setup, I thought that the longer they were out there, the greater the likelihood that the pieces were going to get split up or misplaced. My thoughts on that were unfortunately true.

    Then the real fun started. I messaged him to tell him that I needed my drums back, that I had a pending gig that weekend at a church, and the church didn't have a house kit. Remember what I said about him not being able to drive due to DUI? Yep - oh he really wanted to get my drums back to me, he said, but he didn't have the means to bring them due to his non-driving status. Ok - fine. I told him I'd come get them wherever they were. This is where I found out that my kit got split up. When he played the show, he didn't take one of the snares and one of the toms, so now my kit was in two different places - the main kit with my hardware and cymbals was in an apartment in Fells Point of some guy he knew. This was where he decided to leave them after he played the show. The snare and remaining tom were where they were originally in north Baltimore. On top of this, now I'm getting every kind of excuse about why this can't be coordinated, never mind the fact that I flat out said to just tell me where things were, and I'd go retrieve my gear myself. One excuse was that it was the anniversary of his father's sudden passing a few years ago, and he was having coping issues. So sorry, but that wasn't really my problem - my problem was that my drums are out there in the ether, and I want them back, pronto.

    At that point I was tired of the games and excuses, so I finally laid it out - he had thousands of dollars worth of my gear, and if he couldn't figure out a way to get them back into my possession that day, I was going to have to call the police and report it as stolen, especially since none of it was currently in his possession. I told him he needed to figure out a way - text, call or email anyone/everyone, and make it happen.

    You know, it's interesting how all of a sudden things can be worked out once you threaten to get the police involved. His mother and a friend's girlfriend (it's just as weird as it sounds) managed to go collect the various piece of my kit, got them loaded up in a car, and gave me an address in Fells Point where I could go meet to get them. Get this, his mother was angry with ME for forcing the issue! He was a no-show - supposedly he'd gone to the hospital because he was having panic attacks.

    But wait, there's MORE! (I really wish I was making this up)

    Once I got my gear home I pulled it out of the cases to inspect it, to see if anything had gotten damaged at any point. I wish I could say that my fears were unfounded, but they weren't. When he was flailing around on my drums during the show he'd played, he'd busted his thumb open on the rim of the snare, and had gotten blood all over the heads, which at the time were coated heads - basically, coated heads are somewhat porous, so I couldn't get the blood off of them or out of them. While functionally this didn't hurt anything, I still didn't like having big splotches of dried blood on my tom heads. That was cosmetic - what really hurt was that my prized 18" Sabian HHX Studio crash was now cracked. That's a $320 cymbal.

    Although this guy swore up and down he'd make things right and replace both the heads and the cymbal, I have yet to see a dime, and that was a year and a half ago. I just have to chalk this one up as a hard, expensive lesson learned, and it will be a long time coming before I loan out any gear or instrument to anyone but someone I really know and explicitly trust.

    Sorry for the ramble, but it is kind of relevant to the subject of this thread.
     
    bumblebee and Dalecon like this.
  6. flugelgirl

    flugelgirl Forte User

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    Wow - that's exactly why I'm not taking any chances!!:-o
     
  7. J. Jericho

    J. Jericho Fortissimo User

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    This may be a bit of a tangent, but I get offended when someone asks me for the time of day. Sometimes when I'm in a magnanimous mood, I'll give them my best guess; otherwise I'll say no, and if I'm feeling particularly angry about the request, I'll tell them that they can pick up a working timepiece at the dollar store. If the time of day is that unimportant to them, why should I care to answer them? Under no circumstances will I look at my watch before I respond. And don't get me started on requests for spare change; I tell them that there is no such thing.
     
  8. trickg

    trickg Utimate User

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    Really? For the time?
     
  9. J. Jericho

    J. Jericho Fortissimo User

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    It's often a prelude to the request for $. When it isn't, there's usually a clock in view. The rest of the time? Well, call me a cynic. Besides, when I give my best guess, it's within a minute or two of actual time.
     
  10. trickg

    trickg Utimate User

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    Fair enough - it just seems to me that there are better things to get butthurt about....like someone asking to borrow your Schilke pic for Easter, for instance. :D
     

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