joke time

Discussion in 'TM Lounge' started by songbook, Dec 27, 2014.

  1. tobylou8

    tobylou8 Utimate User

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  2. BigDub

    BigDub Utimate User

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    And that the post office employees seem to have sign a sworn statement not to use any common sense at all, at any time.
     
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  3. BigDub

    BigDub Utimate User

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    6CE6DEBD-80BC-410C-9402-E876E02BE58A.png
     
  4. tobylou8

    tobylou8 Utimate User

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    Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

    The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

    Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

    Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

    Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

    The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

    Jack took the money.
     
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  5. Vulgano Brother

    Vulgano Brother Moderator Staff Member

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    - There are two kinds of data scientists:
    1. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data
     
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  6. SSMITH1226

    SSMITH1226 Pianissimo User

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    Reference to post 2230, I commend you on your very polite version of this joke!
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2018 at 3:14 PM
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  7. BigDub

    BigDub Utimate User

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    What is the difference between a skunk, a vacuum cleaner, and the trumpet player who sits 3 chairs over from me?
    The vacuum cleaner and skunk do not think they should be playing solos.
    Otherwise, they share similarities.
     
  8. drmctchr

    drmctchr Pianissimo User

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    Joke #2237 does not pass the smell test.
     
  9. BigDub

    BigDub Utimate User

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    depends. one stinks, the other sucks, and all three at times can stink and suck.
     
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  10. BigDub

    BigDub Utimate User

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    Ole's wife, Lena comes out with a new hat. Ole says, I see you have a new hat. Yes, I was down in the dumps, so I got it.
    Ole: you should have gone to the store to get it!

    Be thankful it was a short joke.

    I am thankful every year around this time. They always have a list of all the people who passed away that year and I am thankful not to find my name on the list.
     
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