I couldn't come in because my stigmata was acting up. I couldn't come in because the voices were telling me to stay home and clean the guns. I got stuck in the Blood Pressure machine down at WalMart I hit a water buffalo with my car and I didn't have any towels I couldn't come in because the EPA determined that my house is totally surrounded by wetlands and I had to arrange for helicopter transportation I couldn't come in because...have you ever seen one of those movies where someone gets abducted by aliens and they lose like three days worth of memory and don't know where they have been? Kinda like that...without the aliens...and I can still remember everything....who are you? I couldn't find a spot to park so I went back home I didn't want to have to tell you this, but I'm really a counter-intelligence agent in the CIA and I could tell you where I was, but then I'd have to kill you. I couldn't come in because I was still drunk from the night before Jake Blues: No I didn't. Honest. I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locust's. It wasn't my fault, I swear to God! That oughta get you started.