Year old stuff (but timeless advice) for those not interested in being positive today. Feel free to add your own. 1. Adjust your tuning slide during every rest (it doesn’t matter in which direction: low notes are easy to lip into tune) so that the conductor and the other guys in the section think you have great ears. In concert, however, keep pushing the slide in – fun stuff! 2. Never count rests prior to the principal trumpet’s solo. The end of his solo is your cue to start counting. Should the principal player ask what the count is before his solo, simply tell him “you’ll feel it,” as if you know the count. This works wonders for his self-confidence, particularly after he misses the entrance. 3. At other times when the principal player is lost, it is enjoyable to give big random downbeats with your hand as though they indicate reheasal numbers. 4. Verdi Requiem offstage trick: bring the horn up to your lips long before your entrance, take a big breath, and then reach forward with your right hand and empty the spit-valve. Put the horn back down in your lap. Do this several times. Whip the horn up just in time to make the actual entrance. 5. When playing Mahler 5 or Pictures in concert; look down at the floor after the first few notes and shake your head. Then try to look like you are “saving” the section with your entrance. 6. Make friends with the principal horn and trombone players, and tell them how much you enjoy their playing and musicianship. Look in the direction of your principal, sigh, and roll your eyes. 7. Make it a point to ask the conductor during breaks about phrasing – he will assume that you are playing correctly, but will be extra critical of the principal player.