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Discussion in 'Trumpet Discussion' started by Trumpet1Ohio, Jun 16, 2008.
Maybe shell switch to a horrid woodwind instrument.....
I have a 13yo daughter that sounds very similar to yours, (even sings), except she only wants to practice with me. Trying to teach her didn't work at first so we started playing Arban duets and a few other things. I treat her as a peer, we decide how a piece should be played - right or wrong , and PERFORM it. I pointed out my mistakes and weaknesses as well as hers. To my surprise that made it much easier to teach her trumpet technique. It's an hour of quality time as far as I'm concerned. My point is that if you can get her to think of you as a fellow musician you might be able to "offer some tips" (re. teach). She already has a caring parent and a teacher.
Thanks to all of you that posted. Alot of great thoughts and ideas. Brad, I loved your post and at one point actually got choked up reading it. Message received lound and clear.
I did try to have her take lessons from the band director at one point. That didn't work out either. Your suggestion of a female trumpet player/teacher is a good one. We know a girl that plays in the Ohio State Marching Band that graduated from our HS a few years ago that may be just what the doctor ordered.
My 15 year old oboe playing daughter was the same way. I had a trumpet organ recital and one piece was a transcription with an additional oboe part. I begged until she said yes. The praise she got has turned her into just the opposite - almost egomaniac. Maybe you should not wake that sleeping dog.......................
That's a good idea, too. I've tried to do that previously but she was too uncomfortable, I think intimidated, to play with me. I am extremely easy on her. I asked her to help me out this week in our church band. The 2nd trumpet, a HS senior, is out of town for a few weeks. Showed her the music and told how much I needed her help. Also told her it would be fun to have her play in the band with me. She said she'd do it. We'll see what happens Weds night when rehearsal time hits. Hopefully she won't back out.
Ken...thank you for your nice comments. Reading your post(s), just seemed to me like you were just so excited for your daughter and her potential (why wouldn't you be?), but that it just might be too much right now. You know, being a teacher, that - what works for one student (even motivational things) does not necessarily work for another. Therefore, the heaping praise/encouragement would be fantastic for some...not so (and intimidating) for others.
So you know that I understand...my dad is a retired band director. I love him beyond words. Yes, I've gotten his advice all my life. He is extremely proud of me and my accomplishments. For me, I don't see how I could ever measure up to what "I" think about "him". However, what I remember about him with music is....him having a really good balance of providing me with confidence/encouragement/opportunities...along with letting me find my own way on many things. Again..this was especially true with music/trumpet.
Another quick non-musical example to show that "I" need a bit of this medicine with my own kids....my son just got his driving permit. We have "not" gotten along in the car. ha. I teeter between being proud of his abilities and knowledge...and scared to death if he got hurt. Temperance...patience...and I may have to let my wife teach him how to drive. hahaha.
My 17 yr old other daughter has been driving for a year now, so I know what you mean. Thanks again for your great insight. Helped alot.
This subject really strikes home with me. I play principal trumpet in a community concert band and because of her exceptional ability moved a 13 year old girl from 3rd. trumpet up to sit right next to me as associate principal. She was extremely reticent about bypassing 8 accomplished adult trumpeters, but, did as I wanted as her section leader. None of the adult trumpeters objected and all was going well, except that I can hear her coming in on attack notes just a microsecond behind me. When I asked her about this, she responded that she felt that she might stand out from the section is she really attacked those opening notes. I have gotten her to improve her upper range by playing very long pedal tones as softly as possible. When she found that this worked wonders for her she gained some faith in me. Her sister, who is an oboist in the same band tells me that little 'Becca' really crowds her about getting to rehearsal and that she wants to be there on time, "for sure". I 'think' that I have the child on the right track and that she is slowly coming to the realisation that I will never intentionally mislead her or do anything to destroy this emerging artist.
It may be that what she considers good, is far from where she currently is or wants to be . I went through the same thing in high school. My lack of confidence drove me to improve more than any outside influence. Eventually, my confidence grew as my abilities grew. All I needed was time, and a little growing up.
Perhaps, all she needs is more of the same that she's getting now. Support , and experience . As a parent myself, we all want our child to get the most out of their potential. Sometimes, we have to make sure that our wishes for their well being don't get in the way of that. Give her some time to come out of her shell. She may just surprise you ! It sounds like your doing a pretty good job already !
For some folks they just have to build confidence on their own. Some people like the safety of numbers and don't want to stand out and are completely content with that.
In my own experience I think that joining smaller groups and performing in the high school solo/ensemble competitions helped. Being one of 3 players in a trio leaves you exposed somewhat but you still have the other 2 to help you along. The more of these opportunities she plays in the more confident and self reliant she'll become.
Does she play solos in marching band? Sometimes the anonymity of wearing a uniform helps bolster confidence.
Time and experience also help. I know that the more I take chances and have successes the easier it becomes. Also as I grow older, I often care less about what others think of me and that lifts a lot of pressure. This is the exact opposite of a young lady, they care very much how they're perceived.
I do agree with the others that state the need for a private teacher other than yourself (though I don't think you stated you were teaching her yourself). If you can find the right match for her it can make a huge difference.
Since she sings and plays piano, maybe get her some recording software and she can make a Christmas CD for family and friends. Maybe if she hears herself play and gets compliments from the CD she'll realize how well she plays.