NEW HORN!

Discussion in 'Trumpet Discussion' started by Adrian, Oct 3, 2004.

  1. DrunkIQ

    DrunkIQ Pianissimo User

    195
    0
    Nov 21, 2003
    Austin, Texas
    Tootsall you catch on quick so here are some rules to help you out (a couple will be a review to reinforce the above)...


    1. Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hrs a day, so let them cook something they know.

    2. Don't laugh at people's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Tammy Ann, Mari Beth, and Inez have all been known to whip a man's rear for less than that.

    3. Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda -- this can lead to a merciless beating. Down South it's called Coke, even if you want a Pepsi.

    4. Don't show allegiances to any college football squad that isn't an SEC team. All the others are a bunch of candy asses who get to play Wyoming every week.

    5. Don't refer to Southerner's as a bunch of hillbillies. Many of us are/have been more literate than you (e.g. Welty, Williams, Faulkner), better educated, and generally much nicer to boot. We've got plenty of business sense (e.g.Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, and Netscape). Naturally, we can have lapses of judgment from time to time (e.g. Clinton, Fordice, Duke). We don't care if you think we're dumb, we know better!

    6. We are fully aware that the humidity is high. Quit your whinning, spend your money, and leave.

    7. Don't order wheat toast at the Cracker Barrel. If you do this, everyone will know you're from Ohio. Eat the biscuits like God intended and for goodness sake, don't put sugar in your grits.

    8. Don't attempt to fake a Southern accent. Nothing will incite a riot faster.

    9. Don't go around talking about how much better it is back home. If you don't like it here, take your Yankee ass back home.

    10. We don't play lacrosse, hockey or any of those other sissy ass Northern games, so don't ask about the scores. We...simply...don't...care.

    11. We know how to speak proper English, we talk this way because we want to and we can. It's like playing jazz, you have to know how to do it right first.

    12. Last, but by no means least...DO NOT try to tell us how to Bar-B-Q. This could lead to permanent expulsion and revocation of your work visa. Consider yourself just damn lucky that we let you come down here in the first place. Don't push your luck!
     
  2. Tootsall

    Tootsall Fortissimo User

    4,529
    8
    Oct 25, 2003
    Yee HAW!
    Tootsall you catch on quick so here are some rules to help you out (a couple will be a review to reinforce the above)...


    1. Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hrs a day, so let them cook something they know.

    We've got something called "Smitty's Pancake House". Probably same thing. Except pancakes don't have them purty little squares where you can load up maple syrup

    2. Don't laugh at people's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Tammy Ann, Mari Beth, and Inez have all been known to whip a man's rear for less than that.

    Names taken from local phone book: "Across The Mountain", "Bare Shin Bone", "Big Tobacco", "First Rider", "Manybears", "Mistaken Chief", "Shot Both Sides". (I guess "Shot With a Gun" passed away). Those are real last names.

    3. Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda -- this can lead to a merciless beating. Down South it's called Coke, even if you want a Pepsi.

    Same here. But only sissies drink "Pepsi".

    4. Don't show allegiances to any college football squad that isn't an SEC team. All the others are a bunch of candy asses who get to play Wyoming every week.

    Don't like pro sports. And US college sports is pro far as I'm concerned. (Come to think of it, the only pro sports I like are NASCAR, F1 and sometimes CART)

    5. Don't refer to Southerner's as a bunch of hillbillies. Many of us are/have been more literate than you (e.g. Welty, Williams, Faulkner), better educated, and generally much nicer to boot. We've got plenty of business sense (e.g.Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, and Netscape). Naturally, we can have lapses of judgment from time to time (e.g. Clinton, Fordice, Duke). We don't care if you think we're dumb, we know better!

    Now you're pulling in folks from Jawjah. No fair.. I thought this was about Texas (see? we know geography too!)

    6. We are fully aware that the humidity is high. Quit your whinning, spend your money, and leave.

    The temperature might be low (-40) but you don't notice it. It's the low humidity.

    7. Don't order wheat toast at the Cracker Barrel. If you do this, everyone will know you're from Ohio. Eat the biscuits like God intended and for goodness sake, don't put sugar in your grits.

    Hey, knock it off. I work for a sugar company!


    8. Don't attempt to fake a Southern accent. Nothing will incite a riot faster.

    Long as you don't laugh at my colored money and $2 coins, I won't if you don't.

    9. Don't go around talking about how much better it is back home. If you don't like it here, take your Yankee ass back home.

    If I thought it was that much better "at home", that's where I'd be; at home.

    10. We don't play lacrosse, hockey or any of those other sissy ass Northern games, so don't ask about the scores. We...simply...don't...care.

    Neither do I. :D

    11. We know how to speak proper English, we talk this way because we want to and we can. It's like playing jazz, you have to know how to do it right first.

    And I always thought it was the heat.

    12. Last, but by no means least...DO NOT try to tell us how to Bar-B-Q. This could lead to permanent expulsion and revocation of your work visa. Consider yourself just damn lucky that we let you come down here in the first place. Don't push your luck!

    Long as somebody else is doing the cooking I really don't give a darn.

    13. Please don't come up here in August with skis on the roof of your car asking if the hill is open.

    14. Don't pack a revolver if you come here... we like to give the grizzlies a fighting chance.

    15. No, we don't all live in igloos. Some of us have tents.

    16. Please excuse us for not getting all stewed up about Republicans vs Democrats. We get enough of a political high worrying about how far the party in power has their fingers in the cookie jar.

    17. Yeah, we measure miles in kilometers and gas in litres. That way it makes it seem like our speed limits are higher and our gas more expensive.

    18. Please use moderation when drinking our beer. If you aren't used to it, it'll knock you flat on your "where the sun don't shine".




    Doggone, this is fun! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  3. bigaggietrumpet

    bigaggietrumpet Mezzo Forte User

    801
    1
    Jan 23, 2004
    Nazareth, PA
    Don't even go there, bub!
     
  4. DrunkIQ

    DrunkIQ Pianissimo User

    195
    0
    Nov 21, 2003
    Austin, Texas
    5. Don't refer to Southerner's as a bunch of hillbillies. Many of us are/have been more literate than you (e.g. Welty, Williams, Faulkner), better educated, and generally much nicer to boot. We've got plenty of business sense (e.g.Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, and Netscape). Naturally, we can have lapses of judgment from time to time (e.g. Clinton, Fordice, Duke). We don't care if you think we're dumb, we know better!

    Now you're pulling in folks from Jawjah. No fair.. I thought this was about Texas (see? we know geography too!)


    Let me fix it.... Dell, IBM, and Tivoli


    13. Please don't come up here in August with skis on the roof of your car asking if the hill is open.

    Skies are for the water only down here.

    14. Don't pack a revolver if you come here... we like to give the grizzlies a fighting chance.

    I would use a knife.

    Here is a little story for you - the Texas Samurai:

    Back in the time of the Samurai there was a powerful emperor who needed a new head Samurai so he sent out a declaration throughout the country that he was searching for one.

    A year passed and only 3 people showed up: a Japanese Samurai, a Chinese Samurai and a Texan Samurai. The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head Samurai.

    The Japanese Samurai opened a matchbox and out popped a little fly. Whoosh went his sword and the fly dropped dead on the ground in 2 pieces. The emperor exclaimed: "That is very impressive!"

    The emperor then asked the Chinese Samurai to come in and demonstrate. The Chinese Samurai also opened a matchbox and out popped a fly. Whoosh, whoosh went his sword. The fly dropped dead on the ground in 4 pieces. The emperor exclaimed: "That is really very > impressive!"

    The emperor then had the Texan Samurai demonstrate why he should be head Samurai. The Texan Samurai also opened a matchbox and out popped a male fruit fly, the smallest fly of all. His flashing sword went whoooooooossshhh whooooossshhh whooooossshh whooooossshhh. A gust of wind filled the room, but the fly was still alive and buzzing around. The emperor, obviously disappointed, asked: "After all of that, why is the fly not dead?" The Texan Samurai smiled, "Well, circumcision is not intended to kill."

    ---------------------------------

    Ok maybe that was a little tall (thing are big in Texas, even our stories)

    here is how hunting usually goes:

    A couple of Texas hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

    He gasps to the operator, "I think my friend is dead! What do I do?"

    The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."

    There is a silence, then a shot is heard.....
    The hunter says, "OK, now what?"



    15. No, we don't all live in igloos. Some of us have tents.

    umm... I will let that one go.

    16. Please excuse us for not getting all stewed up about Republicans vs Democrats. We get enough of a political high worrying about how far the party in power has their fingers in the cookie jar.

    OK, just remember to be scared if we vote someone from texas in...

    Here are some actual quotes from politicians down here:

    1. "It just makes good sense to put all your eggs in one basket."
    Texas Rep. Joe Salem speaking on an amendment requiring all revenues to go into the state treasury.

    2. "Lemme give ya' a hypothetic."
    Texas Rep. Renal Rosson.

    3. "Ain't nothin' in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos."
    Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower.

    4. "And now, will y'all stand and be recognized?"
    Texas House SpeakerGib Lewis to a group of handicapped people in wheelchairs.

    5. "Dallas salutes a person who can buy a piece of art, but not a person who can create one."
    C. Greene.

    6. "No thanks, once was enough."
    Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked if he had been born again.

    7. "Oh good. Now he'll be bi-ignorant."
    Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower when told that Texas Governor Bill Clements had been studying Spanish.

    8. "I'd just make a little bit of money, I wouldn't make a whole lot."
    Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis defending himself against the charge that he would personally profit from a bill he had introduced.

    9. "Well, there never was a Bible in the room."
    Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked about repeatedly lying about the SMU football scandal.

    10. "I am filled with humidity."
    Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis.

    11. "If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights on that man's head."
    Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower discussing President George Bush's policies.

    12. "If it's dangerous to talk to yourself, it's probably even dicier to listen"
    Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower.

    13. "I move we recess to go outside and throw up."
    Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis during a budget hearing.

    14. "This is a real competitive business."
    A gas station owner, when asked to explain the rapid rise in gasoline prices when Kuwait was invaded.

    15. "...idiots, imbeciles, aliens, the insane and women..."
    Law standing in Texas until 1918 regulating who could not vote.

    16. "It's the sediment of the House that we adjourn."
    Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton.

    17. "Let's do this in one foul sweep."
    Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton.

    18. "This is unparalyzed in the state's history."
    Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis.

    19. "I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves this session."
    Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis.

    20. "We'll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger."
    Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis.

    21. "There's a lot of uncertainty that's not clear in my mind." Texas
    House Speaker Gib Lewis.

    22. "I can explain it for you, but I can't understand it for you."
    Anon.

    23. "There are still places where people think that the function of the media is to provide information."
    Don Rottenberg.


    17. Yeah, we measure miles in kilometers and gas in litres. That way it makes it seem like our speed limits are higher and our gas more expensive.

    What? Are you from europe or something? I mean your across the boarder and we have to make special cars with funny speedometers to sell 1 foot past the border - your driving up the costs of junk so remember to blame yourselves. :D

    18. Please use moderation when drinking our beer. If you aren't used to it, it'll knock you flat on your "where the sun don't shine".


    Only the yocals drink that swill... In the city we have tons of bars and plenty of microbrewers.... i got some barley wine beer that will knock you on yours (12% achocal). - Yes we still know more about beer.
     
  5. Tootsall

    Tootsall Fortissimo User

    4,529
    8
    Oct 25, 2003
    Yee HAW!
    Err... this could end up going from the sublime to the ridiculous... truce? :D
     
  6. Still Trying

    Still Trying Pianissimo User

    159
    0
    Nov 23, 2003
    Lake Jackson, TX USA
    I second the recommendation to try the Besson Donovan is selling. (See Ed's post above). Until I recently acquired an Eclipse, a French Besson Classic made by Kanstal was my main horn, and it was one of the very best horns I ever played. A pro, who posts on this site, but who will remain nameless unless he wants to confess, compared it to a Caliccio and a Vintage One and found the Besson superior to both. It's a shame Kanstal stopped building this horn for Boosey Hawkes, because it is really a fine horn. It is also way under priced for the quality.
     
  7. DrunkIQ

    DrunkIQ Pianissimo User

    195
    0
    Nov 21, 2003
    Austin, Texas
    Yes - I was totally out of stuff on after that last post and would have to have conceded if you replied... :wink:
     
  8. Liad Bar-EL

    Liad Bar-EL Forte User

    1,151
    2
    Oct 25, 2003
    Jerusalem, Israel
    Adrian, give Andy Taylor an e-mail or a phone call and see what he can do for you. The Taylor sound is worth every dollar.

    http://www.taylortrumpets.com/

    Liad Bar-EL
     
  9. knf jazz cat

    knf jazz cat New Friend

    26
    0
    Dec 16, 2003
    I'd say, go with a Callet. You can find a used one for around a thousand. They're superb all around horns; very well made, great intonation, sound, slotting et al.
     

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