Official TM Cliches

Discussion in 'Trumpet Discussion' started by uatrmpt, Jul 16, 2006.

  1. uatrmpt

    uatrmpt Piano User

    373
    10
    Nov 29, 2003
    AL
    I started this thread on the other site and thought it would be worth repeating here too.

    I've noticed that posters usually pop up with the same pat answers to various questions. The purpose of this thread, then, is to create a listing of one-liners that new posters can read and digest upon. Also, it will save responders from having to type them out every single time. Feel free to add your own.

    New TM'ers: pick the one that applies to your situation.

    1. Find a local, highly-qualified teacher and take regular lessons.

    2. Don't focus so much on equipement -- just worry about making music.

    3. Use more air. (That'll work for anything, including how to keep Arban's open on a wire stand.)

    4. Listen to recordings for hours each day in order to have a proper sound concept. That will fix any problems you have.

    5. You really need to try a mouthpiece before you buy it. We can't tell you which piece to buy because mpcs work differently for everybody; however, the fine folks at (Mouthpiece Company Name Goes Here) can. Just fill out their questionaire or give them a call.

    6. You really need to try the horn before you buy it. Horns play differently for different people.

    7. Even though you asked about _________ brand, you should really try _______, ________, __________, and ______________ (even though you didn't ask about them).

    8. Just practice more.

    9. Don't think about what you're doing. You'll absolutely 100% get paralysis by analysis.

    10. If you're looking for a student trumpet, or are a comebacker, the required setup for you is an Olds Ambassador with GR Mouthpiece.
     
  2. gzent

    gzent Fortissimo User

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    758
    Nov 5, 2003
    Rochester, MN
    That was priceless! :D
     
  3. Solar Bell

    Solar Bell Moderator Staff Member

    8,187
    1,911
    May 11, 2005
    Metro Detroit
    Hey!

    This works pretty good!

    See the Horns, Slver Flair Thread!

    -cw-
     
  4. Tootsall

    Tootsall Fortissimo User

    4,529
    8
    Oct 25, 2003
    Yee HAW!
    11. Raw brass will have the same sound as raw brass

    12. Silver plate will brighten the sound

    13. Laquer will darken the sound

    14. Gold plate will have the same sound as raw brass
     
  5. brianwhitehead

    brianwhitehead New Friend

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    Dec 16, 2005
    West Yorkshire, UK

    *Chuckle*

    To be fair, though, 1, 2, 5 and 6 are good advice. It is always tempting to ask "What is the best trumpet/mouthpiece for x" (and I've done it myself in the past), but the reality is that you are the player who will have to live with the trumpet, and you should therefore choose it yourself, having compared a reasonable range of alternatives.

    How about another list - bad/meaningless/misleading advice that gets said by trumpeters? Starter for 10: use your diaphragm. Any others?
     
  6. beartrumpet74

    beartrumpet74 Pianissimo User

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    Jan 17, 2006
    My favorite bit of meanlingless or stupid advice/statement is when someone on these forums imparts a description about the "blow" of a horn is to someone else.

    1. As if having no resistence is a good thing :roll:
    2. how any one person can accurately describe how open or tight a horn plays to another, taking into cosideration varying backbores, throats, cup depths, oral cavities, a persons throat and how open or closed it is.... the list of variables goes on and @$% on!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE start using intelligent terms or descriptions for example...

    " I feel the resistence in this horn closer to the end of the lead pipe instead of right up front" ( common feeling for reverse leadpipe horns as the resistence happens farther away

    "the blow" = vague and meangless description and and I don't give one good g** d*** who you are and why you are saying it... it's vague and difficult to describe this

    oh, and my other pet peeve about posts on these sites...
    1. stop exaggerating you range !!!! I recently taught at the AEbersold camp and had well over 50 trumpeters of all ages and levels in master class, and every one of them, and I mean EVERY ONE told me they played higher than they really could. Unless you can play said high note on the second set or third set of a gig, in the middle of a written or improvised line with relative ease.... YOU DON'T REALLY OWN THE NOTE. besides, it's not the size of your note...it's how you use it!

    PEACE
    Matt
     
  7. djm6701

    djm6701 Pianissimo User

    My favourite is when every person who acquires a horn (no matter what model or what it is made out of) describes it as special because it's "dark down low but it really brightens up in the upper register". Almost any trumpet will do that. A garden hose would probably do that.

    My other pet peeve is what bear was talking about with feeling the location of resistance in the leadpipe/horn, etc. You cannot feel anything inside the trumpet - you have no nerves there and neither does the hunk of brass. Anything you are feeling has to be in your body.
     
  8. Deecy

    Deecy Pianissimo User

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    Aug 8, 2005
    NYC
    The best chuckle I get is when a player says he/she has bought a new mouthpiece, usually but not always a "GR" and that they are selling all their others on EBay because it's the last MP they'll ever need or want. This announcement is usually followed by something like "WOOHOO!!!" or "AWESOME!!!!!".

    Some other goodies:
    1. To lubricate your valves, take them out and submerge the entire valve in $10.00/ oz valve oil. Once before you start playing and once more at the end.
    2. Monette trumpets are NOT worth the money.
    3. "Wynton" is the best player on this planet or any other.
    4. In fact, he's AWESOME!!!
    5. I didn't use to be able to play double high C (whatever that is, and who in his right mind wants to hear it!) but after one lesson with _____________ I can play it all night.
     
  9. Vessehune

    Vessehune Pianissimo User

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    Oct 31, 2003
    Sunnyside, WA
    The best posts are the ones from Middle/High Schoolers who say:

    I have a range up to X above high C is that good?

    Of course everyone then screams for a video clip of the kid playing it!! :)

    Or others say awesome what technique or equpiment do you use?
     
  10. gzent

    gzent Fortissimo User

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    Nov 5, 2003
    Rochester, MN
    Brian,

    Yes, it is quite humorous to imagine what these 'little MF's' sound like.
    I'll toss in a cliche as well:

    11. Unless you can play the note at any dynamic from pp to ff, with and without vibrato, in the middle of a long phrase, then you are not 'hitting' it.

    Greg
     

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