Please Critique Me!!

Discussion in 'Trumpet Discussion' started by Jazzy816, Dec 3, 2014.

  1. Jazzy816

    Jazzy816 Pianissimo User

    61
    10
    Jun 5, 2013
    USA
    Edit: Thanks to all who helped!
     
  2. tjcombo

    tjcombo Mezzo Forte User

    999
    747
    Nov 12, 2012
    Melbourne, Australia
    Sound is nice although it feels a little forced like you're working hard and not quite in control - the slurs down add to this impression.

    Good luck with the role you're going for.
     
  3. rowuk

    rowuk Moderator Staff Member

    Age:
    61
    16,611
    7,953
    Jun 18, 2006
    Germany
    So you upload something to the internet, want comments, but want to prefilter how they are. Why can't we call good good and crap crap? My definition of constructive is the naked truth, not some watered down supposed "positive" criticism. With the truth, we know exactly what is wrong - there is no issues about interpretation of what we said. Abuse would be for instance if what you uploaded were only 80% of your capabilities - you would be abusing us. It goes both ways.

    Better yet: YOU critique what you uploaded. Then we even know how serious that you are.
     
  4. tobylou8

    tobylou8 Utimate User

    16,391
    7,505
    Dec 22, 2008
    Virginia
    Well the good news is you have time to work on it! I agree with TJ, it sounds forced and unrefined. It sounded like the beast and it should sound like the beauty, IMO.
     
  5. dangeorges

    dangeorges Pianissimo User

    230
    131
    Oct 20, 2010
    Here is my critique - use whatever you want.

    • Too loud and blasty
    • Too fast
    • Too much vibrato (a little hokey-sounding to me)

    Take the tempo down a notch or so, and play it more sweetly. Remember - this is the song that Mrs. Potts sings as describing the relationship between the two leads. It's supposed to be lyrical and pretty - not something from Maynard's songbook...

    Don't just play it - sing it through the horn.
     
  6. Dale Proctor

    Dale Proctor Utimate User

    8,215
    7,606
    Jul 20, 2006
    Heart of Dixie
    At least it was short...just kidding...;-)

    Yeah, work on making it more musical, with some feeling in it.
     
    tobylou8 likes this.
  7. Vulgano Brother

    Vulgano Brother Moderator Staff Member

    Age:
    60
    12,458
    7,035
    Mar 23, 2006
    Parts Unknown
    What I noticed most from the clip is poor breathing. Anytime we can hear a breath with a "hiss", there is unwanted and unneeded tension.
     
  8. trickg

    trickg Utimate User

    6,786
    3,551
    Oct 26, 2003
    Baltimore/DC
    My only critique is that there shouldn't have been a breath at all, unless for some reason there's a written breath mark there. It's 10 seconds - surely you can play 10 seconds without having to breathe to finish the line.

    I didn't think that the vibrato was bad though. It sounded like you were pushing it a bit too hard, but that might have just been how the mic picked you up.
     
  9. Jazzy816

    Jazzy816 Pianissimo User

    61
    10
    Jun 5, 2013
    USA
    I appreciate all the feedback and comments. Just as a pure fact, not to make any excuses, I used the iphone mic (not exactly ideal, I'm aware).

    I will slow it down, work on my breathing in general (not necessarily taking a breath for this section though), put more emotion into it, and of course work on making the upper register sound easier.

    Critiquing myself (per rowuks request):

    -The G wasn't quite in tune, and it was more constricted than I would have liked.

    -My A and B were somewhat thin and, as was pointed out, not as open as they should be. Rather than constantly trying to add another note to my musically usable range (hope i'm describing it correctly) I have started refining what I have. That being said, it's by no means wonderful and I intend to spend as much time as needed in the following months to open up and stabilize my current musically usable range.

    -The slurs (I guess you could call them that) near the end are something I don't like. I would imagine that the break in the tone is due to me compressing too much and then letting too much go to get back down to the lower notes. This is something I am cognizant of and have every intention of fixing.


    As for the quality of the sound, I play in my bathroom. It is acoustically the best sounding room in my house however it is by no means a commercial grade concert hall.

    Thanks!!
     
  10. Peter McNeill

    Peter McNeill Utimate User

    7,069
    4,660
    Jan 30, 2009
    Melbourne Australia
    Relax -
     

Share This Page