Quiting

Discussion in 'Trumpet Discussion' started by sean007r, Feb 7, 2008.

  1. lmf

    lmf Forte User

    1,208
    45
    May 16, 2007
    Indiana USA
    Hi,

    Sean and his music director failed to communicate. In so doing it has become an issue in TM where decent folks are left to argue over the matter. I would recommend as the "venting" has been done that Sean go back and communicate with the music director. That is the point where the perceived hurt began and where it needs mended. Sean and his music director appear to have legitimate concerns to discuss apart from the TM discussions. In TM it seems advice has been given to Sean amid the heated discussion which has transpired here. It is now time for him to reconcile with his music director or find service elsewhere. There is really little to be gained with TM members continually arguing with each other over the matter.

    Best wishes,

    Lloyd
     
  2. veery715

    veery715 Utimate User

    5,010
    1,802
    Mar 6, 2007
    Ithaca NY
    A very good point, IMO. It's a one-ups-man-ship contest to see who can get their knickers twisted the most.
    Disagreements between folks are always best handled face-to-face on neutral territory. Call your old friend up, Sean, and ask him to lunch. Really, it's about music isn't it? If you wish to play in church you'll need to bury the hatchet and work to regain the common ground you had originally. Asking him for help on the transposition is an excellent idea. Not only are you giving him back some respect by doing so, you may find he actually needs your help. It is very hard to ask for help for most of us, especially men, and the inability to do so opens the door for many different demons to spoil the fun.

    There once was a woman from Mass.
    Who had an unusual ass.
    Not chubby and pink
    As well you might think
    But had hair and long ears and ate grass.
     
  3. brad361

    brad361 Pianissimo User

    120
    38
    Feb 12, 2008
    WAIT a minute........
    Yeah, ok, I'm new here, but: the fact that the guy is a music director for a church should have NOTHING to do with anything, i.m.o. I've found that ESPECIALLY when doing freebies for churches, they often tend to take for granted your time and talents, and do not appreciate that they are getting free musicians. Which is why I no longer do ANY gratis gigs for churches, period. Plus, to my way of thinking, it isn't a "gig" if it's free.
    And before someone says that I should not generalize, you are correct, but I've had NUMEROUS negative experiences in playing for churches. In my experience, "church people" are every bit as flawed as anyone else. No better or worse, just human.
     
  4. lmf

    lmf Forte User

    1,208
    45
    May 16, 2007
    Indiana USA

    Hi,

    No one is discounting what you are saying, but people in TM cannot do any more for Sean than he can do for himself. The problem is between Sean and the musical director of the church and it needs to be resolved there. Sean has had opportunity to vent and has been given good advice by various people. Now it is time to renew the communication, work out the differences, or move on to another ministry.

    Best wishes,

    Lloyd
     
  5. 65Strad

    65Strad Pianissimo User

    166
    10
    Aug 28, 2005
    Toms River, New Jersey
    In or out of church, some people just are a***s. Music director at a church I have played at gratis other than for weddings is a great guy, however the priest at the church berates him and is a (the priest) etc. Not a place I'm going to be involved with much. That guy, priest or not, is a 1st class a**.

    I choose not to play there because of the priest, not the director. If he was a friend, your (director) I would express my feelings and based on the response act accordingly.
     
  6. clousemiester

    clousemiester Pianissimo User

    106
    0
    Jun 10, 2007
    Boca Raton
    This has been one dramatic read!!!!!!!!

    I play for a few churchs......Paid and Otherwise. Some people weather they are the mailman, Preist, Minister, Director can rub you the wrong way from time to time (I think this may not have been the first time).
    Maybe it's time to move on! Maybe Not! Some of the people can be happy all of the time. All of the People can be happy some of the time. But not all of the time will be happy for all!!!!!!!!!!!
    One of the other trumpet players from one of the church "gigs" always carries a C and a Bflat to the church every time!
    As for me I have been in the church situation my whole life, and T-pose as I go. Hope you can work this out with your friend.
    It doesn't seem worth all the loss! GOOD LUCK!
    Peace Be with You!
     
  7. lmf

    lmf Forte User

    1,208
    45
    May 16, 2007
    Indiana USA
    Hi,

    A reality check as it relates to this "church playing issue" needs to be taken by each of us who play in church - paid or free. Yes, there are definitely personalities involved - some good and some troublsome.

    However, are we playing for the Creator or for our own ego? Is it about God, or about ourselves?

    If it is about Him, then we need to communicate with all the parties involved then get back to concentrating on God and using our music expression for Him.

    If it is only about "us" we have other issues which are not likely to be resolved here. Are we playing for God or us?

    So who cares if those we have to work with have issue. My issue is going to be about doing my best for the Lord. I can do that. The others will have to answer for themselves. If I can't serve Him where I've been playing, I will go to another church that will put God first and play for Him there.

    Best wishes,

    Lloyd
     
  8. brad361

    brad361 Pianissimo User

    120
    38
    Feb 12, 2008

    HERE is a major reason that I don't do church gigs anymore. "....are we playing for the creator or for our own ego?" Please. We are all humans, and we all have egos, and as musicians, most of us LIKE displaying our talents in front of others. A few of us are honest enough to admit to that, while others will continue to attempt to impress the world with all their "serve Him" rhetoric.
     
  9. screamingmorris

    screamingmorris Mezzo Forte User

    808
    18
    Apr 4, 2007
    Well said.
     
  10. rowuk

    rowuk Moderator Staff Member

    Age:
    61
    16,616
    7,961
    Jun 18, 2006
    Germany
    My experience in playing for free in churches has not been that I am taken for granted, but that the assumption is there that we are doing this for the glory of God. The issue of expecting too much only arises when there is one way communication from the director ->musician. Most problems can be solved off line, if communication is good. THAT is where we need to invest our time (in internet forums too!)!
     

Share This Page