Socially Acceptable Spit Release

Discussion in 'Trumpet Discussion' started by gmonady, Jan 1, 2014.

  1. gmonady

    gmonady Utimate User

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    So this is a thread on Trumpet Etiquette. - The release of spit (during rehearsal and in public). Let's share our experiences, and learn, perhaps even end up with guidelines as to the socially responsible way to release spit from our horns.
     
  2. gmonady

    gmonady Utimate User

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    My wife just yesterday came up to me and demanded I put my horns away before guests came to our New Year's Eve bash, as she did not want me to embarsse her by guests seeing me running to my kitchen sink to release spit from my horns. So like an obedient [read - hen pecked] husband, I complied and put my horns away. Guests arrived, and I proceeded to remain socially acceptable.

    I eventually asked her, do you notice me on gigs releasing spit, and when I do does it gross you out when I release my spit directly onto the stage; to which she replied, "Yes, absolutely".

    So then I asked her how would you recommend I release my spit on stage, to which she had no answer (at least one that I can repeat here on TM as we have rules you know). This got me to thinking, how do my colleagues here on TM release their spit. Perhaps from all of you, I can learn a better way to release spit, at home and in public, such that I can appease my wife if that is even remotely possible.
     
  3. gmonady

    gmonady Utimate User

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    My Current Behavioral Methods of Spit Release

    Here is my home method of releasing spit: Run the the nearest sink.

    Here is my at another persons home method of releasing spit: Bring a news paper page, release it on the page, fold it over and take it out with me when I leave. [Recommend NOT using the comic strip section, as I was at one person's house and their little kid grabbed it while saturated with my salaveric droppings to run off with it and absorb it's entertaining content so to speak]

    Here is my method of releasing spit on stage in public while standing: Turn with my back to the audience on a small stage, or move to the side of the stage (off stage if possible) and release said spit valve.

    Here is my method of releasing spit on stage in public while sitting in large ensemble (orchestra): Lean to my right side, and release spit directly onto the floor)

    Here is my method of releasing spit on stage in public while sitting in large ensemble (orchestra) just behind viola section: Raise horn just above head level and release valve contents onto the head of the nearest violist.
     
  4. gmonady

    gmonady Utimate User

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    Creative Spit Release Recommendation 1

    Bring a potted plant to a gig. Set plant on floor, along side mutes. Release spit into potted plant. Very Green, save the world concept.
     
  5. barliman2001

    barliman2001 Fortissimo User

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    Another extremely American thread, I am sorry to say... here in Europe, we don't really bother about such questions (except when playing a gig on some really valuable Persian rug...). Some venues provide small spit rugs; but even the Vienna Philharmonic empty their instruments out directly onto the stage of the Musikverein. They don't do it with violent gestures like shaking their horns; but they do it.
    But of course, European TV channels don't have beeps instead of foul language - perhaps we are just nearer to real life than Americans :-?

    At any rate it seems to me to be a problem that is grossly overrated.
     
  6. Rapier

    Rapier Forte User

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    I use a small hand towel on my right thigh. Don't play standing up, but if I did it would be straight to the floor. Also I drain them at every opportunity, so only a small amount comes out. Oh and Happy New Year my baggy trousered compatriot.
     
  7. barliman2001

    barliman2001 Fortissimo User

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    Rapier, that means that most of your playing is done with a cornet...
     
  8. Vulgano Brother

    Vulgano Brother Moderator Staff Member

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    In those big 'ol European type churches with great acoustics and stone floors an audible "splat" sound can be created by emptying directly on the floor, so while sitting I silently empty on to my left thigh. Black pants mask the spit, and everyone is happy. Standing, I discretely aim for my shoe. If the conductor is a jerk, I'll make a show of it and aim at the floor.

    Seems to me that your wife has some serious issues. I would suggest a good Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor, or perhaps Lorazepam with a glass of wine. If your wife is reluctant to take them, take them yourself. Either way, somebody in the family forgets the whole spit issue.
     
  9. Comeback

    Comeback Forte User

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    What might be the downside of simply using a small soft cloth, like a well-washed handkerchief? This could be kept in a pocket or possibly in the left hand, like Louis Armstrong used to do.
    Jim
     
  10. Vulgano Brother

    Vulgano Brother Moderator Staff Member

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    Such a plan is in opposition to the whole Vulgano Zen approach. “In walking, just walk. In spitting, just spit. Above all, don't wobble.”
     

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