A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night, with the tip of her index finger blown off. "How did this happen?", the doctor asked her. "Well," the blonde replied, "I was depressed, and I was trying to commit suicide!" The doctor scratched his head. "What? You tried to commit suicide by shooting your FINGER off??" "No, silly!" the blonde sighed. "First, I put the gun to my chest. Then I thought, boy, I just paid $5,000 for these breast implants, I'm not gonna shoot myself in the chest." "Then I put the gun in my mouth. But I thought, huh, I just paid $2,500 to get my teeth straightened, no way, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Well, then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought, gee, this is going to make an awful loud noise! So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."