Valium for performance anxiety

Discussion in 'Trumpet Discussion' started by shooter, Sep 24, 2015.

  1. shooter

    shooter Piano User

    Jan 12, 2007
    I will be sounding TAPS for a dear friend who passed away unexpectedly this week. I have sounded TAPS before, but not for someone that I was this close to. I'm terribly worried that I will get choked up, and we all know what happens to trumpet players when the air stops. Has anyone ever taken Valium before playing? If so, does it help?
    Thanks guys!!
  2. rettepnoj

    rettepnoj Fortissimo User

    Feb 22, 2009
    It helps, and I have never experienced any difference in embouchure or endurance … all feels normal, just better inside :-)
    edfitzvb likes this.
  3. ChinTurret

    ChinTurret New Friend

    Jun 8, 2015
    Northern Virginia
    I very recently played taps at my father's inturnment. I too was worried about nerves, but once I played my first note it was all about "singing" and the voice of my trumpet became calming. It's 24 powerful notes, let them ring and your grief through those notes will sound clearly and with comfort. Do it for your friend but it will resonate with those in mourning. It's a gift that you are able to do this.

    (For anxiety it helps to breath in counting to four; then exhale completely to a count of four; deep breaths and deep exhales; do this several times and take notice of how it calms you; then raise your trumpet and sing)
    Vulgano Brother likes this.
  4. Mellophone Man

    Mellophone Man Pianissimo User

    Mar 31, 2010
    Scottsdale AZ
    I am a member of Bugles Across America and have sounded Taps for around 150 funerals over the past several years. I will give you the same advice that I have given others - make a request on the Bugles Across America website and secure the services of a qualified bugler who does not have the emotional attachment to the deceased that you have.

    My father was a WWII veteran and was buried in 1976 with full military honors. It took me 35 years to get in a place emotionally where I could sound taps for others at a funeral. They are the hardest 24 notes that you will ever attempt to play if you try and do so for a friend or relative.
  5. SteveRicks

    SteveRicks Fortissimo User

    Aug 15, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2015
  6. kehaulani

    kehaulani Fortissimo User

    May 14, 2011
    Hawaian homey
    Through the nose.

    Regarding the valium, my (long past) experience was that it was a downer. Works cool when I wanted to be cool, but not a good combination with grief.

    I used to use Kava Kava or Valerian Root. I prefer herbal solutions to health problems. I am not recommending these for any readers. Just posting what worked for me.

    What works best for me now, is a history with meditation, relaxation techniques, and preparation.
  7. bumblebee

    bumblebee Fortissimo User

    Jan 21, 2010
    Great Southern Land
    I am sorry for your loss and I hope you and your friend's family are coping.

    I have only played at one funeral (the "Last Post" though, rather than "Taps") and that was for the grandfather of my best friend. I suppose I didn't have the same emotional load that you have, but I was affected by the grief my friend's mother showed during the funeral. She wrote me a nice card afterwards saying how she appreciated it that I as a family friend played the Last Post instead of the bugler the army had offered. (The army still provided the gun salute.) So sorry I can't comment on valium, but I do think it is a great tribute to you and your friend's friendship that you are playing Taps for him, and I wish you all the best.

  8. SteveRicks

    SteveRicks Fortissimo User

    Aug 15, 2009

    Sorry, didn't read your original post before responding earlier. Take Valium only if it has been prescribed for you. You could do a "trial" to see if it affects your playing. Probably will just reduce coordination, but taps shouldn't be a problem. Sorry for your loss. It is nice of you to play.
  9. shooter

    shooter Piano User

    Jan 12, 2007
    Thank you all for responding. I'll talk to my doctor tomorrow. the service is Saturday.
    Just a little background: This kid is like a son to me. I grew up with his mother in church and school and we are like brother and sister. He joined the Navy last year and was just getting started as a squid before a horrific car accident took him away. As I am also a Navy vet, it is a great honor for me to do this. I'll be in my dress blues ready to play as beautifully as possible for him and his family.
    Peter McNeill likes this.
  10. rowuk

    rowuk Moderator Staff Member

    Jun 18, 2006
    To be honest, why dampen emotions? My dad died recently and the subject of my playing came up. I knew that I would have issues, but the funeral home made a brilliant suggestion: make a tape/CD of 30 minutes prelude music for the church service. It is honest, equally understood and appreciated. I did it. The CD went to my "stepmom" afterward, she has an additional memory.

    I guess the moral is:if we can't, we can't. There is nothing to prove. I was in the military and have played taps and other things at many burial ceremonies, even for people that I knew well. I always got through. My dad was one number too big. I am actually in retrospect proud that I was able to admit the intense feelings for my dad. The service was not less worthy. Drugs would not have been what he wanted. He would have known......

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