What Do I Do?

Discussion in 'Trumpet Discussion' started by RHSbigbluemarchingband, Aug 30, 2009.

  1. tedh1951

    tedh1951 Utimate User

    Oct 18, 2007
    The Wide Brown Land
    Kristina, talk to your Dad or Mum (Mom) - ask them to have a word with this bloke, what he is asking of you is NOT FAIR to you or the rest of the section - but it is especially unfair to YOU.

    No matter how upset you are, try and take things sanely and carefully - it is easy for us to rail against this fellow from a distance (and on the face of it I agree with the other posters) - but we are neither you nor him, and we are NOT THERE - so our angry advice may do more harm than good.

    Please take care, step carefully, don't lower yourself, remain composed and polite, and my very best wishes for a positive outcome. Please, keep us posted about your progress.
  2. dhbailey

    dhbailey Piano User

    Jul 28, 2009
    New Hampshire
    I agree with all the others who are calling this trumpet "teacher" an [email protected]!# -- Remember that only you can control what you are playing, though, so even if he's right in your face yelling at you, keep your eyes straight forward and say simply "Yes, sir!" and then play in a manner which will keep your chops safe and sounding good. In other words, ignore the jerk and play the best way which will keep your chops in good condition.

    You sound like a very smart player, so don't let an ignorant fool badger you into ruining your chops. And do find a moment to take your main band teacher aside and explain what that fool is doing to you. Ask the director why that fool isn't yelling at the other weaker players but instead is demanding that you singlehandedly make the trumpet section sound good.

    Also discuss this entire issue with your parents so you can get their support behind you and be willing to simply drop out of marching band. Or at the very least simply play your part and your part only at a volume which a single trumpet player should be able to play at without destroying his/her chops.
  3. Markie

    Markie Forte User

    Jan 4, 2009
    Clarksburg, WV
    Hi RHS,
    What you're going through sucks and is wrong on several levels:
    1)You shouldn't be playing to the point of bleeding. You DID tell the instructor about this, RIGHT?
    2)The technique of humiliation should not be used

    You are in that category called "legal minority". With that said, I'd talk to your Mom and Dad about three things:
    1)Show them the damage you've been required to put on the inside of your lips.
    2)*Talk to your parents about his/her teaching technique. What's the nature of his behavior?
    3)Ask them to make an appointment with your principal.

    *The nice thing about technology is that he can be recorded via phone. When he's ranting just have a friend record the *#&hole and use that as evidence of his/her abusive nature.
  4. Al Innella

    Al Innella Forte User

    Aug 9, 2007
    Levittown , NY
    I'll hold him while you 'talk" to him!
  5. Sofus

    Sofus Forte User

    Jul 26, 2008
    One thing is absolutely CLEAR;

    THIS CAN`T GO ON!!!!

    You´ll have to get your parents involved in this.
    The man is hurting you to the point of BLEADING
    and maybe he can cause you very long lasting

    DO NOT play like he wants you to, if it´s too much!
    Give what you can. If that means giving almost nothing
    at the moment, that´s all you give.

    Get your parents involved right away!!
  6. Rich Wetzel

    Rich Wetzel Pianissimo User

    Dec 27, 2003
    Tacoma, WA
    Hi Kristina!

    Your notes on this are spot on and well stated, absolutely right on the mark. I would print them out, get a private meeting with your band director and have him read this and then discuss it. How anyone could read this and not realize you are absolutely right is beyond me. I would bet if you did this your director would straighten this out.

    After, if he does not, I would then get your parents involved to go over both their heads if necessary. Most of us when we were in school had to deal with some degree of marching band chops or mild abuse but this guy is ridiculous and totally off the mark.

    I can see you are trying to handle this in a very mature way. Print out these well stated concerns, get a private meeting with your band director, give him or her a chance to straighten it out ( immediately ) and if that does not work, get your parents involved and go over both their heads if you have to.

    You're obviously a good kid and clearly your observations and points are spot on.

    Frankly, if the above doesn't solve it, I would be happy to call or write anyone there that you like on this topic in your behalf.

    I have a feeling you presenting your thoughts so clearly laid out in a private meeting with the director will solve it.

    Keep us posted.
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2009
  7. Bachstul

    Bachstul Mezzo Forte User

    Jan 25, 2009

    But it does. The most abuse I've ever taken were from music teachers in school.

    I thought by now things have changed. My son chose cross country running over band this year (freshman). I told him go ahead and run, because most high school music directors are nuts; I already had his number anyhow from encounters last year. These directors get more kids than they can handle every new school year, when the former 8th graders pile into one H.S. from five surrounding middle schools, (Not Kristina's case, however,) and have ways to tactfully "lean out the herd."

    I would print out this thread and hand it to him.

    By the way, a H.S. football coach is going to trial today for one 15 year old who died from heat exhaustion. It turns out the coach was punishing the team by cutting away water breaks during Summer practice last year.
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2009
  8. Sofus

    Sofus Forte User

    Jul 26, 2008
    Good thing that you supported your son, Bachstul!

    Kristina, you can expect the same thing from your parents!
    Just give them the chance to help and support you!

    "Lean out the herd"!
    "No water" punishment!
    "Play, although lips are bleeding"!

    Scarry leadership indeed!
  9. veery715

    veery715 Utimate User

    Mar 6, 2007
    Ithaca NY
    Good advice from everyone in general. To say you'll do one thing and then do the other may work, or not. One way to find out..:-)

    You say he manipulated you. You don't have to let him do this! It is not your responsibility to carry the section. You are one person, with one horn. But you ARE you - don't fall for the guilt-trip. He is the one with the responsiblity and he is dumping it on you. Number one job for you is to take care of Kristina. Everything else comes after that. If you fail at job one you will be never be able to meet anyone's (especially yours) expectations.

    You may be small; you may be young; but now is the time to begin to stand up for yourself. Asserting yourself has nothing to do with size, age, or ability. It is about believing you are important and taking care of that very important person which you are. Learn this extremely important lesson now, and it will carry you for the rest of your life.

  10. RHSbigbluemarchingband

    RHSbigbluemarchingband Mezzo Piano User

    Jan 17, 2009
    I will go talk to my band director about this, our director is complete opposite of this guy, he said he appreciates me trying to help out, but he never makes you play past your limits. My chops have recovered now, but this guy makes something I love unenjoyable, I don't think I am going to report the guy completely, he is an excellent tech, and by the end of band camp we started communicating more, and hopefully we can get past this and work it out, as thats what started to happen friday. Last year, our tech, he was great, and personally, if my chops were soar, id either take a break, or play pp pedal tones that matched the chords and were barely hearable anyway.

    The entire section agrees this guy is a total &%*@#&) bag, and that he pushes me way harder then everyone else. Currently I am very happy with how my playing is, but I don't want this guy crushing what I have. I think since things started getting better at the end I will just ignore the guy, cause despite our bad moments, during sectionals he not only fixed four trumpet's bad habits, but turned our entire section into a very high level section. He has the knowledge, I just think he is trying to figure out how to use it. So ill keep all this in mind, but I think all in all ill ride it out. Our communication is getting better, and I KNOW my director will take sides with me right away if i go to speak to him. He cares very much about our band, and he has good intentions when he hires our technicians for the year. But if it doesn't get better or he starts pushing like he did the first four days of the week, ill go talk to my band director. Im not really going to listen to him anymore when he tells me to keep playing when I can't, my chops belong to me and my director. He helped me into a good player, and he knows when I am finished, never has pushed me, and he knew we were all dead during band camp, and just tells us to try our hardest, but never, has he ever, MADE us play.

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