Heavens2kadonka

Yup, prior engagements always take precedence. Always. Its just a good habit. Its like keeping a promise.

You have enough time to make honors band again. No biggie. TRUST ME, its no biggie. Your band director will get over it.

Anyway, when you put down your high school accomplishments on your college application "rap sheet," the only thing they care about is "IF YOU WERE ACCEPTED."

I had to turn down a big Symposium two years in a row, because of prior engagements. I was accepted three years in a row, and thats what I put on my rap sheet.

Rich, an "honor band" is usually what they call the top tier band, made up of the top players in auditions. Normally, out of three bands, they are called "Conert band," "Orchestra band," and "Honor Band," in the order from last to first. Concert bands normally play standard high school fare. Orchestra band plays high-level high school/low-level college music. Honors normally plays the "good stuff." They also get the most illustrious guest conductors.

When I made honors band last year, our conductor was the dean of music at the University of South Carolina. We played "Amerland," "Peterloo Overture" "76 Trombones," and the piece from Moulin Rougue (Forget the name, it wasnt that great). Our guest composer was this English fellow (we couldn't understand him), and he conducted us on some crazy piece..

Dadgummit, I'll find the old program tonight.

Van

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trickg

Manny, while I agree with you that you should always be proactive in trying to find conflicts so that you can resolve them before big issues arise, it doesn't seem like there was much that Lara could have done in this case because it doesn't sound like the date was set for the Honor Band at the time she took the audition. The conflict probably would have come up anyway.

The real problem, as I see it, isn't with the conflict - it's with her band director trying to pressure her into bailing on a prior commitment with a team of musician's. That would be worse than me telling my party band that I play with at the last minute that I'm not going to play the gig this weekend (which has been on the books for over six months) so that I can go play a "better" gig with a throw together group. At least with my band there is a book and they can find a sub. As long as they can find someone that reads well, the gig will still go ok, although there is nothing that can be done for the bitterness that is sure to be felt by the people that I let down.

But a show choir!? Unless they have an 'A' team and a 'B' team doing the same music and choreography, (which I doubt, having been there before) there is no way to put someone in that is going to learn all of what they need to know in that short of time. The show choir would have to go with a hole in both the music, and the dance formations. On top of this is the fact that this is a JUDGED competition - it isn't like the hole will go unnoticed and the show choir would probably be docked points for it. Sure, things do come up - illness, injury, etc, but this is preventable.

I just can't believe the audacity of this band director. Why would an adult try to pressure a HS kid into making what is so obviously a wrong choice?

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RichN

Auditions for what? College entry? Band entry? Bear in mind that I've never done a formal audition in my life! Usually a case of "Come and play for a rehearsal. We'll see if you 'fit in'..."

Makes us all sound like nutters! I've never had a problem understanding Americans. Except maybe some southerners.

Lara - I say keep the prior arrangement. It's a very good reason that the band director should understand (even if he doesn't like it); I don't think you want a reputation as a selfish opportunist! Anyway, if you were good enough for Honor band this time, you'll be even better next time.

If band director and choirmaster (or whatever he/she is called) are both employees of your school, you could always tell the band director you have a prior engagement but if he agrees with the choirmaster beforehand, you'd be willing to play in the band instead. Just don't get too deeply involved and try to fix everyone's problems yourself!

If it were me, there'd be no question because I can't sing for toffee! Assuming that's the type of choir you're talking about, you never can tell with Americans...

Rich.

Heavens2kadonka

No, the British guy (STILL CANT THINK OF HIS DARNED NAME!) was just so mumbly, lol.

In high school, a lot of states have these Festivals, or Symposiums, where students are chosen to come and audition for seats in the three ensembles. Normally its just sight reading and scales.

I remember my sight reading was otherworldly strange and difficult, and I went straight through it. One of my proudest moments (Sight reading was never my forte).

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11thchair

Lara

Jim's response is likely wrong - they won't get over it. I have had 1 daughter go through Honors Band/Orchestra years ago and I have another daughter on tour as we speak. "They" consider you privileged because you were invited and think you should be so honored that you will do whatever they tell you - even if they don't tell you to the last minute. You likely received a list of rules at the begining of this session telling you most of this - maybe not quite as frankly, but actually a similar tone.

I can contradict Jim because I'll see him tonight and he can get back then.

Mark

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dizforprez

“So....I'm going to talk to my director tomorrow and tell him I'm not going to honor band. He's going to be very disappointed in me and very angry. I feel like such a bad person. I've never let anyone down like this before and I really wish that I could just not deal with this. I've been on the brink of tears all day because I've been so frustrated. It isn't fair.”

lots of great comments so far, allow me to add my $.02

First off, the BD should not feel disappointed and he has no right to be angry. And you should not feel like a bad person.

The Honor band director( and your director) should realize that this is his( their) fault, and for them to put pressure on you to do honor band is in very poor taste and takes advantage of the fact that you are a student that probably doesn’t know any better.
IT sounds to me like they are using your age to manipulate you a bit if you are feeling this torn up about it.

Politely tell him that it is his mistake not yours, and that you will honor your first commitment, and if they really care about you playing they will take the time to respect your schedule and let you know in advance next time.

Honor band is for YOU not for them, some directors forget that. You are not letting anyone down.

In the grand scheme of things ditching an honor band for a weekend isn’t going to affect your life. Going back on a standing commitment might be something you will regret later on.

Skip

Lara,

Please see my post at TH. Thanks.

silverstar

To clear things up:

1.) I never auditioned. My director sent my name in on a form he filled out and I was accepted through that. We got the music a month late, and when we did finally get it all the director said was that we had to practice it for the audition. We didn't get any information about it until Monday, three days before it actually happens.

2.) If I don't go, my director has told me that out of fairness to other people, he will never recommend me to another honor band. I'm allowed to try out for all state, but he cannot enter my name for another honor band.

3.) He also brought my personal life into this by saying that the only reason I wanted to go on the show choir trip, since both the directors said that they could make do without me, is because my bf is also in the group.

You know, I've had to grow up a little these past two days. I take full responsibility for not being on the ball about my schedule. I have come to the realization that I don't have to go to honor band to get into college. I'm also not cut out to be a teacher of a huge group, as I work better with people one on one. I'm now looking into maybe music therapy/psychology or something to do with biology (my second love.) I'm willing to make band my life until I graduate high school. Then, I will use my talents for the community (weddings. lessons, gigs) and have it as a hobby.

I spent the past two days crying over what I should do. I realized that I made a commitment to a group and, even if they say they don't need me, I need to be there to support them. I've spent a lot of time working with this group and practicing and sweating over competition results. This honor band would only be for the benefit of me. I'm a little angry at my director for trying to bully me into going to the honor band. When I told him I wasn't going to go, the first words out of his mouth were, "that's just not an option." No matter what I did, I was wrong. No matter what reason I gave, there was a way around it.

Lara

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Skip

Lara,

Always be straight and truthful (which I'm sure you are) with anyone. Approach conflicts like these in an adult manner, such as I mentioned in my other post (TH), getting all involved parties together and calmly discussing the problem/conflict rationally, logically, and arriving at a mutual decission that best satisfies all. But never allow anyone to bully, intimidate, belittle, threaten, or embarass you in front of others. When you know that you are right, be strong, and stand your ground. People will respect you more. It's better to be respected than liked.

Skip

bigaggietrumpet

Boy, I'm here to tell you this guy is a grade A @#E!$!! The sad thing about all this is that I have seen this exact situation...twice. The first was to something exactly like this. The band director nominated me and a few other guys. Well, one of them forgot about a class project that was on the same day as the first day of the band/clinic. Boy that leaked off the band director. The way that he, and the way that your director look at it, is that it makes them look bad by recommending you and then you not showing up. This, I believe, is absolute horse-#!@$ and should bring a beating upon the director. The second time was when I made a commitment to a good friend of mine that required I leave after halftime at a football game. The band director blew up when I told him. He said that "out of fairness and because of the rules" I would be kicked out of the band for leaving. I called his bluff. I had a solo at the next two concerts afterwards, by the way.

Out of fairness?! HA! This...grr (I'm really struggling to control my anger)...jerk is trying to extort you into this. He knows that people will give him the credit for your talent. He's expecting you to show up and display his amazing teaching abilities. Technically, he really can't pull that "not recomending you anymore" crap. This is partially because you could recommend yourself, but also because if you pushed the matter, he'd probably have to back down. And if he's still letting you audition for All-State, it REALLY doesn't matter. Rule of thumb- All-State is the universal music trump card when it comes to music college applications (second to having a really good audition, of course).

That bf comment was a low shot and he @#$! well knows it. Geez, are you sure he's not a high schooler? We know better, and he certainly does. If you display ANY semblance of the maturity in real life that you display here, the whole freakin' school knows it.

*pant, pant*
Ok, I'm going to get down, now I swear....

Really Lara, don't sweat this that much. Do what you feel is the right thing to do. I'd say there is a better than 50% chance this pig-headed buffoon is bluffing just to get his way. But you wanna know something? I've been to literally dozens of honor bands. And I've been to a few other events that were similar to your choir (theater, actually, I have the singing voice of a tone-deaf rapper). Sometimes there were conflicts, and usually, I went with whatever I committed to first. And I have no regrets (except not practicing harder to get All-State, that one still kinda stings). I can guarantee you that when you get to where I'm at, and that's not that long away, no matter what it feels like, you will realize that it really didn't matter. PLEASE don't let this ruin how you enjoy music. Music is one of the most beautiful gifts that we have on this rock, and it is meant to be fun and to be enjoyed. I know right now it seems like there's no right way to get out of this, but there is. And you know what it is. Sometimes life just likes to make it a little tough on us, but that's how we become strong. Really, don't sweat it.

Ok, really....I'm gonna stop now...

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