Mikey

For both teeth!

butxifxnot

You now you have a bad job when your dental plan is "Chew on the side that doesn't hurt".

(Thor Ramsey)

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-"More air", "open the throat", "arch the tongue"; Next
-"Long tones: my anti-drug"

FlugelFlyer

You know you're in the south if the only cynic is a damn good band from Florida that broke up.

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Bach 180LR, 72 bell
Bach 1-1/2C
Bach 3D

Manny Laureano

Flug,

You gots lotsa 'splainin' to do.

ML

Dave Payn

It's not much cheaper here on the Isle of Arran! Other than the island brew itself, the beer's not much cop here, either!

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Amateur trumpeter
Cornet, Arran Brass
Brass band tutor for the Workers' Music Association Summer School

'When I'm down in the dumps, I just go and get myself a new hat.'
'I wondered where you got them from.'

Dave Payn

You know you're in the south when....

When you call the front desk of a hotel and say "I've got a leak in my sink," and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead.

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Amateur trumpeter
Cornet, Arran Brass
Brass band tutor for the Workers' Music Association Summer School

'When I'm down in the dumps, I just go and get myself a new hat.'
'I wondered where you got them from.'

Clarino

Come up north, the weather is beautiful (by which I mean bracing) the women are lovely, and the beer is cheap(er)(and Much Much better). Or if, like many foreigners you daren't step outside the Capital go to a J.D.Wetherspoon pub, good beer from £1.30.

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"...you have the perfect C Major chord, with blazing trumpets and inaudible strings." - Daniel Barenboim.

trumpetmike

You were winning the argument until the brackets - we have the Hog's Back Brewery (within walking distance of home!) which regularly wins Best of British Beer awards
It is so good that when I am heading up North (which I am next weekend - yes, I'll remember my passport) I get a shopping list from my friends up there.

Solar Bell

You know...
There are some things you'll NEVER hear in the South:

A real Southerner would never say…

1. “I’ll take Shakespeare for $1000 Alex.”
2. “Duct tape will not fix that.”
3. “I would like a glass of white wine please.”
4. “We don’t keep firearms in this house.”
5. “Hey, you can’t feed that to the dog.”
6. “I thought Graceland was tacky.”
7. “No kids in the back of the pick-up, it’s not safe.”
8. ‘Professional wrasslin’s fake.”
9. “Honey, did you mail our donation to Greenspeace?”
10. “We’re vegetarians.”
11. “Do you think my hair is to big?”
12. “I’ll have a grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.”
13. “Honey, those bonsai trees need watering.”
14. “I don’t understand the appeal of NASCAR.”
15. “Deer heads detract from the décor.”
16. “Spitting is such a nasty habit.”
17. “I just couldn’t find anything at Wal-Mart today.”
18. “Trim the fat off’n that steak.”
19. “Cappuccino tastes much better than espresso.”
20. “The tires on that truck are too big.”
21. “I’ll have the onion and radish salad.”
22. “I’ve got it all on a floppy disk.”
23. “Unsweetened tea tastes better.”
24. “Would you like your fish poached or broiled?”
25. “My fiancee is registered at Tiffany’s.”
26. “She’s too old to be wearing that bikini.”
27. “Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?”
28. “Hey! Here’s an episode of Hee Haw we haven’t seen.”
29. “I don’t have a favorite college football team.”
30. “Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.”
31. “I believe you cooked those green beans too long.”
32. “Those shorts ought to be a little longer Darla.”
33. “Elvis who?”
34. “Checkmate.”

-cw-

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Chuck Willard
The Willard of Oz

"Don't be afraid to see what you see."
Ronald Reagan

jcstites

Funny stuff.

I catch alot of shit being from the south (born in ATL and lived in east TN)

Yes there are lots of rednecks in the south, but from visting many places around the country, there are rednecks EVERYWHERE!

Some of the best people i know are rednecks, just who they are...

A few things youll never hear a southerner say:
"I really like Jeff Gordon"
"Dale Jr. is gay"
"I dont know how to fix your car, take it to a real mechanic"
"Ill have the biscuits and gravy, but with just a little gravy on the side"
"No, weve eaten at the cracker barrel to much this week"


Ok thats all i can think of right now... gotta go practice... heh

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www.jonathanstites.com