Oh boy, a nothing topic ....
Dating ... such fun! I am ever glad I am married to a wonderful woman. I disliked dating a bunch at times. In some other ways, I met some wonderful people and shared some nice moments.
I decided (stubbornly) that I wasn't going to get married until I was done with graduate school. I got my doctorate at age 27 because of my strong focus on the task at hand. But the dating I did had some unusual twists and turns. Here are a few of my adventures (all of them are true).
In graduate school, a very nice lady I knew from class asked me to go for coffee after class. I agreed (I don't drink coffee, but hey...). We spent about a hour talking and I asked her to a dinner and a movie. She accepted. We went to the dinner and the movie, had a nice time, and I took her home. At that point she says to me "I would invite you in, but my husband might be home by now ..." Ooops. She never wore her wedding ring. I envisioned a man coming out of the house with a shotgun. Ugh.
When I first entered graduate school, I met this college senior working in my lab. I asked her out and we had a nice time (no nothing happened for those of you with dirty minds). I asked her again the next week and she responded, "I had a wonderful time, but after going out with you, I have come to the conclusion that I am a lesbian." Oh that made me feel great.
One of the most sensual women (not sexy, sensual) I had met had asked me to come over for dinner. Candlelight, great conversation .... wine. Nice. About an hour after dinner, we are talking and she says to me "I thought I would let you know I am pregnant." Oh my ... It turns out that the father took off and she thought I was one of the best candidates she had ever met to be a good husband and father. I wasn't ready for that at age 26 in the middle of a dissertation.
But the worst one ... a friend I knew from the Christian college I went to calls me to say she is flying through Denver (I used to live near Denver) on her way to California and had a 5 hour layover. Would I be interested in meeting her at the airport and having dinner. Sure. Now we dated a little in college, but went our separate ways before anything got even close to serious. I take her from the airport to a nice restaurant in Denver and we eat. With about 3 hours to her plane leaves, she asks if I would like to go with her to a hotel.
I was stunned. She explained her motive (not a cheap night ... she knew I was above that). She really wanted to have a child. She thought since she knew me and that I had my doctorate, I would "supply" some great genes. Yea, right.
She found someone else who was more willing. The last I heard she was a big time manager of an oil company, single, with a 14 year old kid. Never married, and probably never was going to be ...
Believe it or not, I could tell about eight more stories like that. I dated until I was 34 and then got married. Let me tell you, the right lady is worth the effort.
The wrong lady is a waste of time. A great book on dating I read (occupational hazard as a therapist) suggested that after HS, you can tell what you need to know after three dates. After three dates, you are either testing the waters for marriage or you are wasting your time. If you know after three dates this is not the kind of person you want to marry, skip it. You are wasting time and energy. Ladies are always looking for gentlemen and vice-a-versa. But snots and gentlemen don't mix. Jerks and ladies don't mix. Let the jerks marry the snots. A lady should always find a gentleman.
OK, who put the dime in my ear to get me going?
