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Tootsall · 02-01-2005, 05:56 PM

WARNING:

This is a Canadian joke. Non-Canadians may not understand it. If you lived here you would.

Advance apologies to Los Angalenos... but we don't really have anywhere that you can get away with driving with a gun in your lap! Besides, that chunk of steel is frickin' cold and who needs that aggravation?

HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM

1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: MONTREAL

2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: TORONTO

3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: OTTAWA

4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, cradling cell phone, balancing Tim Horton's coffee on knee, foot solidly on accelerator: CALGARY

5. One hand on wheel, one hand on non-fat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, handgun on lap: LOS ANGELES

6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: REGINA, but driving in TORONTO

7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned totally to someone in the back seat: QUEBEC CITY

8. One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging hand on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: VANCOUVER

9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the brake and both feet on the accelerator throwing McDonald's bag out the window: RED DEER

10. Four wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on the floor, dead moose still in truck box, raccoon tails attached to antenna: PRINCE GEORGE

11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield driving 40 km/hr on Hwy1 in the left lane with the left blinker on: VICTORIA

AND THE BEST ONE OF ALL:

12. One ski-doo mitt frozen to steering wheel, other ski-doo mitt with scraper in hand out front window scraping frost, “Guess Who” on 8 track playing Share The Land, hockey equipment smelling up car interior, waiting at lights for snow removal equipment to finish clearing intersection: SASKATOON

02-01-2005, 05:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tootsall Fortissimo User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Yee HAW! Posts: 4,641	Where Is That Driver From? WARNING: This is a Canadian joke. Non-Canadians may not understand it. If you lived here you would. Advance apologies to Los Angalenos... but we don't really have anywhere that you can get away with driving with a gun in your lap! Besides, that chunk of steel is frickin' cold and who needs that aggravation? HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM 1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: MONTREAL 2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: TORONTO 3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: OTTAWA 4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, cradling cell phone, balancing Tim Horton's coffee on knee, foot solidly on accelerator: CALGARY 5. One hand on wheel, one hand on non-fat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, handgun on lap: LOS ANGELES 6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: REGINA, but driving in TORONTO 7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned totally to someone in the back seat: QUEBEC CITY 8. One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging hand on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: VANCOUVER 9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the brake and both feet on the accelerator throwing McDonald's bag out the window: RED DEER 10. Four wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on the floor, dead moose still in truck box, raccoon tails attached to antenna: PRINCE GEORGE 11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield driving 40 km/hr on Hwy1 in the left lane with the left blinker on: VICTORIA AND THE BEST ONE OF ALL: 12. One ski-doo mitt frozen to steering wheel, other ski-doo mitt with scraper in hand out front window scraping frost, “Guess Who” on 8 track playing Share The Land, hockey equipment smelling up car interior, waiting at lights for snow removal equipment to finish clearing intersection: SASKATOON