| Lara,
I say to do the show choir commitment, and here's why:
Your show choir is made up of various members, all of whom work together and work with each other in a defined and refined ensemble. Each person there, whether they like it or not, depends on the other members in the ensemble, who in turn depend on them. Any time you introduce a new member to a standing ensemble, or worse, take one away without a replacement, it has a drastic effect on the ensemble as a whole.
The way that I see it, it isn't a matter of deciding which director to let down, it would be a matter of letting the whole show choir down because essentially, every musical ensemble of two or more persons requires teamwork to function properly, and you are an integral part of that teamwork in the show choir.
Honor bands, on the other hand, are usually throw together groups. Yes, you might know many of the people in that band, but because of its nature of being a throw together group, it does not have the same level of cohesiveness and teamwork that a group like a show choir has.
On top of all of this is the fact that the show choir commitment came first and you knew about it well in advance of the honor band opportunity.
If it were me, I would do the show choir commitment and I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. I was a member of my high school show choir all 4 years of high school, and I was also in many honor bands and although I never had a conflict like the one that you have described, I do have a feel for what you are going through.
Think of it this way: If you don't do the honor band, you won't be missed, but if you don't do the show choir commitment, you will definitely be missed by everyone in the ensemble.
Seriously, do the show choir gig and worry about it no more. If your band director is upset by that decision, that's his problem, not yours. Your place, in my opinion, is with the show choir and I think that you can make the decision to go to the last show choir competition with a clear conscience. You certainly are not a bad person for doing the right thing and standing by your team.
That's what I would do.
Edit: One more way to look at it is like this: It was your Band Director's and honor band's lack of organization, lack of coordination, and lack of prior planning that caused this dilemma, not you. If your band director really thinks that the honor band is more important than honoring a prior commitment that you have as a member of an ensemble, then in my opinion, he needs to re-examine his priorities and I think that he's being a jerk for trying to put pressure on you to back out on them.
__________________ Patrick Gleason
email me at: trickg1@hotmail.com
"What we do in life echoes in eternity"
"At my signal, unleash hell."
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