Heres a good way to think about your playing.
Get a Manhasset stand in front of you. Now stand in front of it.
Pick up the stand.
NOW, put the stand down, close your eyes, and imagine the stand is a 100 lbs. weight. Pick it up again.
Notice you CLENCH UP your arm a lot more, even though you are only visualizing!
I bet you also noticed you didn't grasp the stand as easily as you did the first time, either. I bet you picked it up clumsily, shakily. Braced yourself with your sides, your legs. You also slowly picked the stand up.
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Think of playing trumpet like that. We see a high C, and go "HOLY ****!" We then clench up, forcing out a very unflattering sound. Its also why we look at old pieces we've played, and play them horribly! We remember how hard the piece was, and then suck it up playing it later on, when we KNOW we are much more proficient players!
Old habits never die, they just have to be replaced with new, better habits!
My practicing this summer is focusing on that. Keeping the air flow constant, from top to bottom. Thinking of everything like a long tone, visualizing the stand-weight. CONSISTENCY, I guess is the big idea I'm trying to teach myself. Playing a piece, and everything feeling, and sounding alike. Its been very, very, veryveryveryveryveryveryveryveryveryvery.....
VERY DIFFICULT,
but once I can finally grasp it, I think I will end up being a MUCH better player than I am right now (I may actually become a decent hack job!).
Van