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Old 07-28-2005, 03:03 PM   #1 (permalink)
Tootsall
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How badly can you mangle a language?

I just noticed this on the CBC website (http://www.cbc.ca) It's hilarious.

*Warning* NOT for the squeemish or faint-of-heart.

" A man who compared a woman's chest to a carburetor has won an annual contest celebrating the worst writing in the English language.

Dan McKay, a computer analyst from North Dakota, beat thousands of entrants to the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest run by San Jose University with this bit of prose:

"As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual."

The 43-year-old writer said he was inspired by a line from the musical Chicago when character Roxie Hart complains of her husband's incompetence in the bedroom: "He made love to me like he was fixing a carburetor or something."


There is more... you can read it at : http://www.cbc.ca/story/arts/nationa...ng_050728.html
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