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rjzeller · 08-05-2005, 12:39 AM

OOOH...you suck, B6!! M*ch*g*n has been playing football since the crusaders were using pig farts to blow down castle walls. Who did they play then?

Nah...I'll give you that one. They got the edge on OSU, too. But I don't count the first 30 years...OSU had some pretty weak programs in their infancy. We didn't really start becoming a dominant program until Paul Brown came to town...

From 1919 until 1988 it was dead even...then the dreaded John Cooper came to town, sigh.

But no more. Jimmy T is here to even the score!

No, they didn't perform THE Script Ohio first. THey DID do their own version of "Ohio" on the field in script, 1932, but it was not the venerable "Script Ohio" as it has been perfomed since it's inception by TBDBITL. Similar, but not the same.

Okay, you asked for it....

* * *

Two University of Michigan fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do. The first University of Michigan fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The second University of Michigan fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it." The first University of Michigan fan asks, "Why not?" The second University of Michigan fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me."

General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie. The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish." The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war." The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish." "Well," the General responds, "then can you have University of Michigan win a bowl game this year?" After a moment, the genie says, "Let me see that map again."

Dumb Michigan Laws

A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.

There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office.

It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.

You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.

Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.

Clawson

There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.

Detroit

Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.

Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.

It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.

Alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants.

It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from "rooting" in the ground for their food.

Grand Haven

No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.

Harper Woods
It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.

Kalamazoo

It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.

Rochester

All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police.

Soo

Smoking while in bed is illegal.

Wayland
Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.

* * *

A University of Michigan fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

Muck Fichigan....

08-05-2005, 12:39 AM	#5 (permalink)
rjzeller Forte User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Rochester, MN Posts: 1,212	OOOH...you suck, B6!! Mchgn has been playing football since the crusaders were using pig farts to blow down castle walls. Who did they play then? Nah...I'll give you that one. They got the edge on OSU, too. But I don't count the first 30 years...OSU had some pretty weak programs in their infancy. We didn't really start becoming a dominant program until Paul Brown came to town... From 1919 until 1988 it was dead even...then the dreaded John Cooper came to town, sigh. But no more. Jimmy T is here to even the score! No, they didn't perform THE Script Ohio first. THey DID do their own version of "Ohio" on the field in script, 1932, but it was not the venerable "Script Ohio" as it has been perfomed since it's inception by TBDBITL. Similar, but not the same. Okay, you asked for it.... * * Two University of Michigan fans were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do. The first University of Michigan fan says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The second University of Michigan fan replies, "Yeah, me too. But I wouldn't try it." The first University of Michigan fan asks, "Why not?" The second University of Michigan fan replies, "Because I'm afraid the dog might bite me." General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie. The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish." The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war." The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish." "Well," the General responds, "then can you have University of Michigan win a bowl game this year?" After a moment, the genie says, "Let me see that map again." Dumb Michigan Laws A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission. There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office. It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house. You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan. Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony. Clawson There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens. Detroit Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property. Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited. It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday. Alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants. It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from "rooting" in the ground for their food. Grand Haven No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense. Harper Woods It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets. Kalamazoo It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend. Rochester All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police. Soo Smoking while in bed is illegal. Wayland Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day. * * * A University of Michigan fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt." Muck Fichigan.... __________________ There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who do not.