| I just want to be a trumpet player
I went back to Dillon's today, to try and buy a case to replace the one with the broken zipper. And some guy said "aww look, that's a gorgeous girl right there, and a trumpet player to boot, I'd love to play alongside her" This, among other things made me realize something, I dont LIKE being seen as that chick who plays trumpet. It's like I am a girl and i play this instrument, and no matter how attractive i may be, or how talented I may be, I will never be viewed as a trumpet player. No, rather I will continuously be viewed as just another pretty face in the trumpet playing world. I thought about the fact that, yes, I like all of you guys here, but I feel like too many of you have judged me without truly knowing me... I am a trumpet player first and a girl second. What that man said today about wanting to play along side of me was ridiculous. He had never seen me before, nor had he ever heard me play. He had based this assumption on my looks. I admit, the attention from you guys is nice...through school i was always either one of anf guys, and therefore nothing to look at, or a body...nothing more. Nevertheless, i was never a trumpet player, rather the girl trumpet player. I truly hate that feeling. It's almost like I wouldnt need to play well at al to get anywhere, just a low cut shirt. To be honest, I am simply awful. I can practice til I am blue in the face, and it probably wouldn't help much, there are so many problems with my playing, and I do too much wrong to fix all at once. And yet, I have never been seated last or anything. Its truly frustrating, especially becuase people expect less, and therefore work with me less, and therefore I never learn anything new, or improve much, becuase to them, I am a pretty chick trumpet player...not some guy that has to fight his way through the tpt playing world. In some ways, it is harder being a girl...a lot of people don't feel you belong, guys are dirty and chauvinistic, and they see you a weak and fraglie among other things. Yet, at the very same time, you will never be seen as a trumpet player, but rather as a girl. Thanks for reading, I feel a little better now, though I wish i would be able someday, to truly be a trumpet player first, and a female second.
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More than just a trumpet player |