| Emily,
I can certainly relate to your situation. I always knew that I was a good player and excelled in marching band and drum corps. When I was a Senior in High School I attended Interlochen Arts Academy for 6 weeks as an exchange student. Man, talk about feeling like an outsider! This was the first time in my life that I really didn’t fit in (these were serious musicians and outstanding players even in high school). I worked really hard to keep up in all of the ensembles there, but I was always just “that guy from Arizona”. It was a wake up call for me.
When I was in college, I was “the engineer” that played in most of the top ensembles. Everyone else was an education major (and a couple of performance majors) and I didn’t really get to know anyone all that well because we didn’t have any other classes together. They knew I could play, but I was never really a part of that general community. In my engineering crowd, I was always “the band geek”. I had some good friends in engineering, but I was always (again) on the outside looking in.
When I accepted my first job in Phoenix, I realized that to fit in to the trumpet community in the Valley I would need to work exceptionally hard. With the Hickman studio in my backyard I really had to bust my butt to raise my overall level. I was always “the engineer” amongst a sea of “pros”, “grad students”, and “band directors”. “There’s the engineer that’s a pretty good player!”
I eventually decided that I needed to put all of my energy into finding the sound that I heard in the best players that I had been in ensembles with. Over the last several years I feel like I’m finally just “the trumpet player” when I show up to play. That’s a really good feeling, but it’s taken a really long time for me to get there.
I can certainly relate. Hang in there. If you want to be a trumpet player badly enough, you will find your way to make it happen. Just keep your focus where it needs to be.
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Derek Reaban
Tempe, Arizona |