| 1. Let's remember that there are alot of professional musicians here that can and will help you if you present yourself with the right attitude.
2. Demoralizing yourself wil not aid your growth...you must have something on the ball to be in a group that is good enough to play Till Eulenspiegel.
3. "Retarded" is not a word I find appropriate to describe anyone...we all come at things differently and posess varying strengths and weaknesses.
4. Your conductor most likely doesn't hate you for what you did... he probably just thinks it was rather foolish and possibly damaging to a rather expensive instrument.
Now...the flutter tonguing issue... can you make a gurgling noise? If you can't roll your tongue (there is a percentage of the population that cannot, so you are not alone in this), that works as a substitute. You may try singing a different note than what you are playing, too.
I am sure others will graudally chime in with more to say or put these points across a bit more eloquently than I did.
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-Glenn
"Roses have thorns; shining waters mud. Clouds and eclipses stain the moon and the sun; and history reeks of the wrongs we have done. After today, after today, consider me gone."- Sting |