kadleck

I'm sure this is old but I just saw it now for the first time:


Subject: Things Trumpet players NEVER say

"Sorry, that adlib solo was way too over the top. I'll take it down a notch next time."

"I was playing too loud."

"Sorry, it was me that was off-tempo."

"I make plenty of money!"

"I can't decide between the Ferrari and the Mercedes."

"I'm not good enough to play first. Is it OK if I sit in the fourth
chair?"

"He's a much better trumpet player than I am."

"Man, your solo was great. I'm glad I didn't have to do it. It
wouldn't have sounded as good."

"The last measure says '8va' but I'd prefer to play it as written."

"I only need one trumpet."

"I use my E-flat/D all the time!"

"I need to tune up."

"I chose a trumpet based on my needs, rather than worrying about the
kind Wayne Bergeron plays."

"All you need is a good 'D'. Anything higher than that is just screeching."

"Excuse me. Can you ask the clarinet section to play louder? We can't
hear them."

"That was a beautiful flute solo!"

"I really wish I had learned to play the oboe instead."

"I have a solo coming up, but I'd rather the sax take it."

"I didn't like the way Miles played that."

"Haydn wrote a trumpet Concerto?"

"Maynard who?"

"Man, there's nothing like a good marimba concert!"

"My schedule is so busy, I have to turn down gigs."

"Finally! A nice quiet slow passage!"

"I turned that down. They offered me too much money."

"So many girlfriends. I have trouble keeping up with them."

"I tried out for that, but I was rejected because I just wasn't good
enough."