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I can honestly say that I've never had this problem! 
I am so tall that I usually get our conductor complaining that my bell is pointed right at him while the rest of the section is pointed down towards the floor so he hears only me! Hey I can't help it man; I'm 6'3"!
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Haha! I have the opposite problem. The guy who sits next to me is 6'4", and the principal is a little taller than me, too. I'm stuck at 5'4".
As for getting back to you (I know it's been a while) I have tried your suggestions. I discovered that (as you suggested) playing a little into my stand definitely helps me to hear myself. I only put the bottom edge of the bell at the stand, just until I can hear myself a little. My conductor can hear me just fine! I've also been concentrating on how the horn feels in my hands as I play the music, and when I play with the group and can't hear myself, I concentrate on how the vibrations feel and I can guess how I'm doing.
Thanks for your suggestions!
--Kat