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rowuk · 03-09-2008, 08:04 AM

Found this in a closed forum that I frequent (non trumpet). Was too good to leave there!

What My Mother Taught Me:
1.*_ _**_My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE_*. 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.

2.*_ _**_My mother taught me RELIGION_* . 'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'

3.*_ _**_My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL_* . 'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4.*_ _**_My mother taught me LOGIC_* . 'Because I said so, that's why.'

5.*_ _**_My mother taught me MORE LOGIC_* . 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6.*_ _**_My mother taught me FORESIGHT_*. 'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7.*_ _**_My mother taught me IRONY_*. 'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8.*_ _**_My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS_*. 'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9.*_ _**_My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM_* . 'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10.*_ _**_My mother taught me about STAMINA_* 'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11.*_ _**_My mother taught me about WEATHER_* . 'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12.*_ _**_My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY_* 'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13.*_ _**_My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE_* . 'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14.*_ _**_My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION_*. 'Stop acting like your father!'

15.*_ _**_My mother taught me about ENVY_*. 'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16.*_ _**_My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION_*. 'Just wait until we get home.'

17.*- -**- My mother taught me about RECEIVING_* . 'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18.*_ _**_My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE_*. 'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'

19.*_ _**_My mother taught me ESP_* . 'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20.*_ _**_My mother taught me HUMOR_* . 'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21.*_ _**_My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT_* . 'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22.*_ _**_My mother taught me GENETICS_*. 'You're just like your father.'

23.*- -** My mother taught me about my ROOTS_*. 'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24.*_ _**_My mother taught me WISDOM_*. 'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. *_ _**_My mother taught me about JUSTICE_* 'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you '

03-09-2008, 08:04 AM	#1 (permalink)
rowuk Moderator Fortissimo User Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Germany Posts: 4,394	What my mother taught me Found this in a closed forum that I frequent (non trumpet). Was too good to leave there! What My Mother Taught Me: 1._ __My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE_. 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning. 2._ __My mother taught me RELIGION_ . 'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.' 3._ __My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL_ . 'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!' 4._ __My mother taught me LOGIC_ . 'Because I said so, that's why.' 5._ __My mother taught me MORE LOGIC_ . 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.' 6._ __My mother taught me FORESIGHT_. 'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.' 7._ __My mother taught me IRONY_. 'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.' 8._ __My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS_. 'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.' 9._ __My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM_ . 'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!' 10._ __My mother taught me about STAMINA_ 'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.' 11._ __My mother taught me about WEATHER_ . 'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.' 12._ __My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY_ 'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!' 13._ __My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE_ . 'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.' 14._ __My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION_. 'Stop acting like your father!' 15._ __My mother taught me about ENVY_. 'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.' 16._ __My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION_. 'Just wait until we get home.' 17.- -- My mother taught me about RECEIVING_ . 'You are going to get it when you get home!' 18._ __My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE_. 'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.' 19._ __My mother taught me ESP_ . 'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?' 20._ __My mother taught me HUMOR_ . 'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.' 21._ __My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT_ . 'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.' 22._ __My mother taught me GENETICS_. 'You're just like your father.' 23.- -* My mother taught me about my ROOTS_. 'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?' 24._ _*_My mother taught me WISDOM_. 'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.' 25. _ __My mother taught me about JUSTICE_ 'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you ' __________________ Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.