TrumpetMaster - View Single Post - Trumpet Playing May Be Dangerous to Your Health.

Majestic1 · 04-02-2008, 12:55 PM

So, Relaxed Lips is the answer?

If the various parts of the body could talk what would they say to each other when they are working to play the trumpet? If a trumpet player suffered from VM to the point that he passed out and had a heart attack, let’s not pronounce him dead yet, and this matter was brought to court with Relaxed Lips as the judge, what would happen?

The case of Relaxed Lips

Relaxed Lips (Judge): Ok, who is responsible for making this guy pass out and have a heart attack? What do you have to say Brain?

Brain: What could I do, I wasn’t getting any oxygenated blood from the heart.

Heart: Hey, don’t blame this on me, my aorta blood supply was cut off by the lungs. Besides, it is getting harder and harder to pump blood on a regular schedule any more when the lungs are filling up and pressuring me to stop pumping.

Lungs: We just fill up with air and empty out to that big ugly tube, Trachea.

Trachea: First of all, let’s not get personal as to how we all look and second of all, I’m the biggest tube around here so it’s not me to make this guy fall. I think that the over grown Thyroid played a part in this.

Thyroid: Sorry guys, I have nothing to do with this and I’m not over grown. I recently had a test and I am fine. I think that the Larynx (vocal cords) should have something to say about this.

Larynx: I was silent on this one. You all know that I have a hard time accepting what Relaxed Lips is doing in trying to take away my job by all those funny buzzing sounds. As far as I am concerned, those buzzing noises are nothing but high pitched farts. I think it might be that thing next to the Sinuses which closed off the air.

Soft Palate: I don’t know if you are talking about me but I only take directions from the Brain to close off the Sinus cavities. I must say that I’m getting tired of this after 30 years and I have let some air get by me once in awhile. Boy, you should hear this guy sneeze! I also just don’t have any rest at night with his snoring. I’m just too tired for this kind of work anymore. I think it was the Tongue who did it.

Tongue: Nope, not me. I sometimes direct the air to help make different pitches and I rise or lower to keep the sound in tune. I AM THE ONE WHO STARTS THE NOTES and don’t you forget it. The air that passes by me goes to you Judge, Relaxed Lips. Maybe you can tell us what you do with it.

Relaxed Lips: I just past the air to the MP which has about a 4mm hole.

Trachea: WHAT?! A 4mm hole?! I’m 20mm wide and we are trying to get air into a 4mm hole? That’s 5 times smaller. No wonder there is such a high back pressure!

Heart: No wonder I stopped pumping blood!

Brain: No wonder why I didn’t get any of it from you Heart.

Trachea, Heart, Brain, Lungs, Thyroid, Larynx, Soft Palate, Tongue: YOU, Relaxed Lips, are guilty of attempted man slaughter. No matter how you work it, Relaxed Lips, you are trying to pass air from a large area into a very small one thus creating VM.

Post note:
It has been reported that Relaxed Lips had been kissing over 101 different trumpet mouthpieces and in fact was known to even smooch up to a trombone month piece.

04-02-2008, 12:55 PM	#141 (permalink)
Majestic1 New Friend Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 38	Re: Trumpet Playing May Be Dangerous to Your Health. So, Relaxed Lips is the answer? If the various parts of the body could talk what would they say to each other when they are working to play the trumpet? If a trumpet player suffered from VM to the point that he passed out and had a heart attack, let’s not pronounce him dead yet, and this matter was brought to court with Relaxed Lips as the judge, what would happen? The case of Relaxed Lips Relaxed Lips (Judge): Ok, who is responsible for making this guy pass out and have a heart attack? What do you have to say Brain? Brain: What could I do, I wasn’t getting any oxygenated blood from the heart. Heart: Hey, don’t blame this on me, my aorta blood supply was cut off by the lungs. Besides, it is getting harder and harder to pump blood on a regular schedule any more when the lungs are filling up and pressuring me to stop pumping. Lungs: We just fill up with air and empty out to that big ugly tube, Trachea. Trachea: First of all, let’s not get personal as to how we all look and second of all, I’m the biggest tube around here so it’s not me to make this guy fall. I think that the over grown Thyroid played a part in this. Thyroid: Sorry guys, I have nothing to do with this and I’m not over grown. I recently had a test and I am fine. I think that the Larynx (vocal cords) should have something to say about this. Larynx: I was silent on this one. You all know that I have a hard time accepting what Relaxed Lips is doing in trying to take away my job by all those funny buzzing sounds. As far as I am concerned, those buzzing noises are nothing but high pitched farts. I think it might be that thing next to the Sinuses which closed off the air. Soft Palate: I don’t know if you are talking about me but I only take directions from the Brain to close off the Sinus cavities. I must say that I’m getting tired of this after 30 years and I have let some air get by me once in awhile. Boy, you should hear this guy sneeze! I also just don’t have any rest at night with his snoring. I’m just too tired for this kind of work anymore. I think it was the Tongue who did it. Tongue: Nope, not me. I sometimes direct the air to help make different pitches and I rise or lower to keep the sound in tune. I AM THE ONE WHO STARTS THE NOTES and don’t you forget it. The air that passes by me goes to you Judge, Relaxed Lips. Maybe you can tell us what you do with it. Relaxed Lips: I just past the air to the MP which has about a 4mm hole. Trachea: WHAT?! A 4mm hole?! I’m 20mm wide and we are trying to get air into a 4mm hole? That’s 5 times smaller. No wonder there is such a high back pressure! Heart: No wonder I stopped pumping blood! Brain: No wonder why I didn’t get any of it from you Heart. Trachea, Heart, Brain, Lungs, Thyroid, Larynx, Soft Palate, Tongue: YOU, Relaxed Lips, are guilty of attempted man slaughter. No matter how you work it, Relaxed Lips, you are trying to pass air from a large area into a very small one thus creating VM. Post note: It has been reported that Relaxed Lips had been kissing over 101 different trumpet mouthpieces and in fact was known to even smooch up to a trombone month piece. Last edited by Majestic1; 04-02-2008 at 01:00 PM.