Vulgano Brother

FLY THE UN-FRIENDLY SKIES



TERRORISTS have formed their own airline -- because they're afraid of getting on a plane that could be hijacked by other terrorists!

That's the incredible claim made by Amir Humad, a Saudi terrorist who was recently captured and is being held in a top-secret location.

"No one's going to hijack a plane when everyone else on the plane is a crazed terrorist," Humad says. "Sure, terrorists are crazy, but we're not crazy enough to get on a plane that might be hijacked."

Ironically, El-Al Queda, as the new airline is called, is the result of increased security on other airlines.

"It's hard to be a good terrorist when you can't even take a pair of box cutters on a plane," Humad says.

In fact, El-Al Queda has a very different approach to security.

"If you're NOT carrying a bomb or a weapon, it's hard to get on," an El-Al Queda baggage handler says. "We're in the business of spreading WMDs. We can't give seats to every little terroristwannabe."

And in the event a bomb does go off, blowing up the plane, the terrorists say there's no way to know which bomb caused it -- so each of the terrorists would get the 72 virgins they're promised when they go to heaven as a martyr.

"It's a win-win situation," says Humad.

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