Get back on that horse!
As Raphael Mendez stated, " no soloist is ready to perform until he can play totally from memory the music to be performed, and, without any error". My interpretation of this is to totally wrap myself in the music that I am playing, so that I have no concept of whatever audience I might have, just a complete joy in my music. As an example of this, I will be playing first trumpet in a 10 piece brass ensemble to accompany the 1,400 congregants at a hymnsing this coming Sunday evening. They will sing all, or most of the verses of at least a dozen 'old favorite' hymns. I look forward to these hymnsings every other month, and play with joy. I am NOT playing for the congregants, but, as a form of praise to my Lord.
York Wizard by Couturier cornet
York Master Model trumpet
York Elite trumpet
York Airflow cornet
Conn Concert Grand Cornet
King Liberty trumpet
Reynolds Professional cornet
Bohm & Meinl professional trumpet
Conn New World Symphony trumpet
Olds Special cornet Los Angeles
B&H Sovereign cornet
G.R.Band Instr. cornet
Getzen Super Deluxe trumpet and cornet
Getzen Deluxe trumpet and cornet
Many others no room to list
A mistake is only a mistake if you don't learn from it. It's OK to be disappointed about your solo, but if you don't learn anything about performing from this, then this will just be a bad memory.
Look, in the grand scheme of life and your playing career, this will just be one minor blip on the radar. File away the bad and good performances, learn from them and move on. You've obviously got a great desire, and you hold yourself to a high standard, so better roads are ahead.
Suck it up. Be better prepared next time. You've previously acknowledged that you tend to freeze up in situations, so do something about it. If you don't change some kind of behavior, then history will continue to repeat itself. Here's an idea, TOMORROW grab someone you don't hang with (a flute player, fooball player, a janitor...whatever) and play something for him.
we don't need a video of this, it doesn't benefit you or us.
Rushing is normal when we are nervous. The pulse rate goes up and anything not nailed down is an easy target. The solution is in preparation. We need to practice slowly and accurately. Once we can play the pieces completely at a crawl, we can move the speed up. Bad rhythm is 100% the way we practice. We try to move forward too quickly. Slow your practice down and clean up all of the small details before advancing.
Good luck next time.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
If you are having stage fright, I highly recommend joining the Speech team at your school. Not only is public speaking a great tool, but the best way to get used to being in front of people is by often being in front of people.
Put it behind you. You know what you need to work on and that is all that matters. Everyone needs a lesson in being humble every once in a while anyway.
Eclipse MHY Bell
1949 Olds Ambassador
Listening has nothing to do with moving your mouth!
Something I forgot to mention, you may want to purchase a Zoom H2 to record your practices. You can listen and critique yourself while traveling in the car
I saw an interview recently with 2 high school athletes. They were asked how they handle a loss. Their answer was "you just work hard the next day".
In music, there is no "loss". People aren't there to count your mistakes, they just want to hear some good musical emotion. I'm sure your solo had some good parts in it that moved somebody.
Keep you head high and just work hard tomorrow.
"My time will come..."
I bombed a simple performance when I first started building my lips back up after my sinuses got real screwed up. It was really terrible and I cried for hours. Okay, maybe it wasn't for hours, but it felt like it. The people I did the 'performance' for have already asked me to come back and I accepted. I hope I do better this time and I know that I can. I hardly think I can do worse than last time.
Just think of this as a low point to build from. I know it hurts, but I also know you have gained valuable insight and in the long run this will strengthen your abilities.
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