You're the second one to say that Ivan is the man...Welcome Spideriffic,
you can travel from NYC to Plattsburgh by going south. Eventually you will get there, it will take longer and require additional skills and you probably will change your goal before arriving.
So it also is with playing the trumpet. YES we can discern instruments without being a professional, the problem here however, is that your problem isn't the horn or mouthpiece. Your playing is going south and no amount of "more dedication" fixes that. Basically you describe everything that I need to know. I believe that your problem is bad habits and a missing daily routine. Unless the problems are adressed, they are simply reinforced.
My suggestion would be to make a trip to Ivan - not to worship yet another god, rather to get an independent ascessment of your playing from some ears that I believe you can trust. I am convinced that no amount of time or money could be better spent. Ivan will check YOU and your equipment out and give you some indication how to go north.....