Yea I think with rest and practicing more catious could help me thnxTo me it sounds like probably your embouchure has been fine all along, and you are just abusing your chops way too much before they are ready.
You should never EVER play to the point that your lips get numb, and if you do overdo it like that take at least 1 day completely off. When your lips are swollen and it "feels like you have to force them to play", just take the day off if you can - your lips are trying to build themselves back up again but they won't be able to if you keep beating them u
Ideally, you should stop playing just slightly before you get tired. The way I gauge it is, as soon as I'm unable to squeak out close to my highest notes, it's time to take a break from practicing.
As for doing the gigs, you just aren't ready yet. See if you can take a month off from doing them. Take 3-4 days completely off the horn, and then spend the rest of the month being super careful to not overdo it. I bet that will help a lot.