I "listen" to myself playing. Hopefully I think, WOW! what a great sound!
Then to hear the applause. And further when someone comes over to you to tell you how much they enjoy it.
Obviously I am just a big ham.
My point is, I am in love with the emotional sound of the instrument and we will do things to please others more than ourselves. All the above is why my ego will not ALLOW me to show up unprepared.