Thanks so much for contacting me Lisa. Your records show that it was delivered but alas, alack it was not delivered to me. I have one Schilke B5. I live in the boondocks and do not know anyone else that plays or owns a Schilke . There is absolutely no advantage in me having two sets. I acknowledge that the valve caps may have arrived in Australia on September 5th. Our country is called the ‘Big Brown Land’. That is for a reason. It is bloody big. It takes me 19 hrs in the car to get to my aunties house and it is only about one 5th of the way across the continent. You Americans have an expression ‘Bigger than Texas’. We say ‘As moderately sized as the overstated, over exaggerated state of Texas.’ I do not deny that the package arrived in Oz. I JUST DIDN’T GET IT.
So, now that I have I regained my composure. Do I:
- (a) Kiss my money good bye and never deal with your company again.
- (b) Have a complete breakdown and discover religion.
- (c) Is there some way of tracking from the number you sent?
As I previously stated, in the many previous emails.(which were ignored before you came along. Refer to 1st sentence of my diatribe) whilst waiting for the said package to arrive, I moved house. From my previous dealings with your company which were pleasant, I did not change address before leaving ample time for the package to arrive.
Now if this is an attempt to make the Guinness Book of World Records, I suggest you desist. In 1790, I letter which was meant to go to Seix in Toulouse France took 220 years to be delivered due to a slight misspelling. Whilst it is a noble act to aim to be recognised, neither of us will be there to acknowledge your success.
I eagerly await your reply. My guess is that this email will be met with a cursory ‘delete’
I was going to send a Xmas card but I had concerns that you, your children and their children would not be around to benefit.
Might I also, in line with the Texas and Toulouse story suggest that the word “Express’ be reconsidered in your name. I might also suggest some possible alternatives “ Mouthpieces- On a wing and a prayer” or “Mouthpiece- For those who enjoy a gamble” or “ Mouthpiece- Or Not”
Thank you for your time Lisa. Please copy this and put it on your pin board. If nothing else, it will give fellow employees something to remember. Maybe one of their future generation may indeed see that 220 years smashed.
Greeting and Happy Xmas