"I fart with enough pressure for a double C. Wind is a big issue these days."
Oh No!! This is one of the hallmarks of the old. You've got bowels on the brain.
I'll leave you with some humor but don't bust a stich!
The heart, brain, and anus were having a discussion about who should be the boss.
The heart said:
"I should be the boss, I pump all the blood that's needed to make things work."
The brain said:
"No, I should be the boss, I do all the thinking."
The anus said:
No, I should be the boss, I get rid of all the waste around here.
The heart and brain just laughed at the anus and this hurt the anus's feelings. With hurt feelings, the anus shut down and quit work. A couple of days later, the brain was a little woozy and the heart was having palptations. The moral of the story?
Even an asshole can be boss!