Trumpet Jokes

trumpettrax · 09-11-2006, 04:07 AM

Wondering if you all have heard these before:

How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could have done it.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the trumpet players.

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpeter's car?
Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.

What's the first thing a trumpet player says at work?
"Would you like fries with that?"

How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how Louie Armstrong would have done it.

What's the difference between a trumpet and a chain saw?
Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still.

What is a gentleman?
Somebody who knows how to play the trumpet, but doesn't.

How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because the world revloves around them!

How many trumpets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but he'll do it too loudly.

What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

How to trumpet players traditionally greet each other?
"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."

How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?
The doorbell shrieks!

Why can't a gorilla play trumpet?
He's too sensitive.

What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up?"
"But Johnny, you can't do both."

What would a trumpet player do if he won a million dollars?
Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.

How do you get a trumpet to play FFF?
Mark MP on the part.

How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder on the high C's

Why does a trumpet have three valves?
Because trumpet players can't count to four.

Hardnut · 09-11-2006, 04:25 PM

Hehe I really like all of those!!

I hadn't actually heard any of them before!

Thanks,

Hardnut.

Dale Proctor · 09-11-2006, 04:34 PM

I've heard most of them before. Only difference, about half of them had "trombone" substituted for "trumpet"!

How can you tell a future trombone player at the playground?

It's the kid who can't swing and doesn't know how to use the slide.

fyaskox1 · 09-11-2006, 08:32 PM

Yeah, some of those jokes are good, but there are some that are really bad.
no offense

aneel · 10-02-2006, 04:20 PM

What`s the difference between a trumpet and a bazooka? A bazooka sounds good in a chamber ensemble.

What`s the difference between a baroque trumpeter and a dressmaker? A dressmaker tucks up frills.

Foxytrpt · 10-03-2006, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dale Proctor

How can you tell a future trombone player at the playground?

It's the kid who can't swing and doesn't know how to use the slide.

Ouch!

krossum · 11-09-2006, 05:56 PM

[quote=trumpettrax;267945]
What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up?"
"But Johnny, you can't do both."[quote]

my favorite !
-Kelly

John P · 11-09-2006, 08:41 PM

Not really a trumpet joke, but...

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?

A drummer.

11-09-2006, 10:40 PM

What did the drummer get on his SAT test?

Drool.

trpt2345 · 11-09-2006, 10:57 PM

What's the difference between a jazz musician and an extra large pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of four.

Michael McLaughlin

The covers of this book are too far apart.
Ambrose Bierce

09-11-2006, 04:07 AM	#1 (permalink)
trumpettrax Pianissimo User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 156	Trumpet Jokes Wondering if you all have heard these before: How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could have done it. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the trumpet players. How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpeter's car? Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof. What's the first thing a trumpet player says at work? "Would you like fries with that?" How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how Louie Armstrong would have done it. What's the difference between a trumpet and a chain saw? Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still. What is a gentleman? Somebody who knows how to play the trumpet, but doesn't. How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb? None, because the world revloves around them! How many trumpets does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but he'll do it too loudly. What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money. How to trumpet players traditionally greet each other? "Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you." How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door? The doorbell shrieks! Why can't a gorilla play trumpet? He's too sensitive. What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up?" "But Johnny, you can't do both." What would a trumpet player do if he won a million dollars? Continue to play gigs until the money ran out. How do you get a trumpet to play FFF? Mark MP on the part. How are trumpets like pirates? They both murder on the high C's Why does a trumpet have three valves? Because trumpet players can't count to four.

09-11-2006, 04:25 PM	#2 (permalink)
Hardnut Pianissimo User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: South England Brand: Bach Strad Posts: 93	Hehe I really like all of those!! I hadn't actually heard any of them before! Thanks, Hardnut.
	__________________ Haydn wrote a Trumpet Concerto?

09-11-2006, 04:34 PM	#3 (permalink)
Dale Proctor Mezzo Piano User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Heart of Dixie Brand: Bach, vintage Conn Posts: 636	I've heard most of them before. Only difference, about half of them had "trombone" substituted for "trumpet"! How can you tell a future trombone player at the playground? It's the kid who can't swing and doesn't know how to use the slide.
	__________________ "Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away." - Sir Thomas Beecham Olde Towne Brass www.otbrass.com Brass Band of Huntsville www.brassbandofhuntsville.org

09-11-2006, 08:32 PM	#4 (permalink)
fyaskox1 New Friend Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1	Yeah, some of those jokes are good, but there are some that are really bad. no offense
fyaskox1 New Friend Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1

11-09-2006, 05:56 PM	#7 (permalink)
krossum Piano User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Minneapolis, MN, USA Posts: 306	[quote=trumpettrax;267945] What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up?" "But Johnny, you can't do both."[quote] my favorite ! -Kelly
	__________________ “This art is acquired only by laborious studies, for the rebellious nature of the instrument demands a great aptitude coupled with a persevering willingness to become a master of it.” – F.G.A. Dauverné (1857)

10-02-2006, 04:20 PM	#5 (permalink)
aneel New Friend Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: vienna Posts: 49	What`s the difference between a trumpet and a bazooka? A bazooka sounds good in a chamber ensemble. What`s the difference between a baroque trumpeter and a dressmaker? A dressmaker tucks up frills.

11-09-2006, 08:41 PM	#8 (permalink)
John P Piano User Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Camp Hill, PA Posts: 313	Not really a trumpet joke, but... What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians? A drummer.
	__________________ JP

11-09-2006, 10:40 PM	#9 (permalink)
Dave Guest Posts: n/a	What did the drummer get on his SAT test? Drool.
Dave Guest Posts: n/a

11-09-2006, 10:57 PM	#10 (permalink)
trpt2345 Mezzo Forte User Join Date: May 2006 Location: Chicago Posts: 747	What's the difference between a jazz musician and an extra large pizza? The pizza can feed a family of four. Michael McLaughlin The covers of this book are too far apart. Ambrose Bierce
	__________________ Chicago MM

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